Tag Archives: Steve Maraboli

My Scars Tell A Story …

20170804_204354I was on the line this past week at the NYC Passport Agency … more than 2 hours in 90 degree August weather … Not fun!  Realized that sometimes life becomes less about living and more about waiting … So tired of waiting!

A complete stranger noticed my scar on my back, near my right shoulder blade.  They asked me what happened.  I was surprised because it’s been a part of me for 40+ years – I forget it’s there.  I had my first cancerous tumors at six months old.  Forty years ago, no one was thinking beyond me getting healthier and growing old – not worrying about scars and plastic surgery.  This stranger mentioned I should look into scar revision surgery.   I politely listened to them.  But in my head I am thinking please leave me alone.   My scars are mine and they tell my story.  Some days they bring me comfort and remind me how much I have gone through and of my strength.

The quote by Steve Maraboli – resonates:  My scars tell a story. They are a reminder of times when life tried to break me, but failed.

My life has been hard.  It still is – most days.  I deal with sadness, grief, pain, hurt, anger, loss … I struggle on a daily basis to get out of bed and just put one foot in front of the other, trying to find my purpose and my smile.  I struggle to find the tenuous line between what hurts me and what heals me.  I struggle in letting go of the past and keep moving forward.

So I need to see beauty in my scars.  So many of us have scars – some visible, many not.  Some are inside of us, some are on the outside prominently and permanently on display.

So I will show my scars … because I continue to fight and survive.  I won’t hide my scars.  They are my reminders that I am still alive.  They serve as proof that God is forever healing me.  And I will keep finding beauty in my life and sharing my story … with grace in my step and hope in my heart.

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Break

Need a break from myself. I am my own worst enemy. I am too sensitive. I feel to much. I try too hard. I am exhausted. I know all too well, if someone keeps hurting you time and time again, they will never change as long as you keep letting them – I need to change myself, and stop allowing them to hurt … but sounds so simple in theory. I am tired from being just a passing time person for many people. I know all the lines, motto, etc. If people don’t make an effort to be in your life, don’t try so hard to be in theirs, it’s not worth it. Don’t make someone a priority who makes you an option.

Many say don’t be too nice, you will be taken for granted. But why should I change?! I just have to get wiser, stronger – not stop being too nice. But there are times when you have to show people that you cannot be taken for granted. You cannot be considered weak and your opinions must be considered. This is what I need to work on.

I have just been so emotionally drained – let down by people, in general. Family, so-called friends, dating – all have left me feeling unsure about myself. I feel like I am the one always trying – trying to make time, ask them out, follow-up, texting to check in – but I am not getting much in return. I think many feel that I am strong and a loner, and just don’t need them somehow – I need to believe this somehow – otherwise, I must accept that people suck and are just mean, selfish people. I can’t live my life this way.

I am sure all have watched the movie, “He’s Just Not That Into You” – well it rings true and the book is even more full of wise advice. SO many quotes, so much sage advice – I have heard all before – just have to truly find a way to listen, learn, let go and live by it.

“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fucking phone call.”
― Greg Behrendt

“You picked a lemon, throw it away lemonade is overrated. Freaks should remain at the circus, not in your apartment. You already have one asshole. You don’t need another. Make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve. Have faith.”
― Greg Behrendt, He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

“When someone tells you they are too ‘busy’… It’s not a reflection of their schedule; it’s a reflection of YOUR spot on their schedule.”
― Steve Maraboli


Let Go of Grudges Day…

I have declared today, “Let go of grudges” day. In honor of #GoRed for women to raise awareness of heart disease, I say we let go of all that hinders a healthy
heart for all.

I am all about forgiveness and moving forward. I have written many times, that I imagine people dead, so I forgive them; more for myself. I don’t live my life
with regrets. I don’t think anyone owes me anything. I am solely responsible for my feelings, actions and reactions. I believe grudges are for those who
insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are strong enough to move on. So, let’s move on. When we choose to forgive, its not like we are condoning the bad behavior; we are not relieving the responsibility or to excusing the behavior. To me, forgiveness is a personal act that can transfer emotional control back into our hands. Its my choice now. I don’t seek an apology from the person who hurt me. I just forgive them quietly in my heart. Don’t let pride dictate your life. Nor away your choices.

If we are unable to let go of a grudge, we waste time stewing over it – time that we never get back – it’s lost time. We let the anger from holding a grudge, make us bitter. And this has long lasting affects on us – our lives, our health – health problems that result from the anxiety, depression, increased heart rate, and elevated blood pressure that grudges can cause. Just sad.

Confucius once said, that to be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it. So, remember it, learn from it, and move on.
Charlotte Brontë wrote, “Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.”… Yes, I couldn’t agree more. Life is too
short. Every day a gift, working on making each day a blessing.

I don’t mind the wrinkles near my eyes and mouth – I have earned them! When I smile, light shines brighter from my eyes, and I pray only nice words come out
of my mouth. With God’s grace, I will let go any resentment I may feel. I want to be free, unburdened or weighted down with regret and grudges. Even
those who have wronged and hurt me, I forgive.

“Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghost of yesterday. Holding a grudge & harboring anger/resentment is poison to the soul. Get even with
people…but not those who have hurt us, forget them, instead get even with those who have helped us.” – Steve Maraboli

Everyone, have the day you have – no pressure. I will walk forward with my head held high, my heart pure with grace, hope and faith.


On My Journey….Surviving…

Today marks a year that I was hit by a car. I have yet to cross the street where it all happened. But it’s a new years goal that I am confident I will conquer and reach.

Whenever I feel like something is missing, I know it means I need to get out of my comfort zone, explore, shake things up and have fun. Sometimes it leads to a whole new direction for my whole life, which is the ultimate adventure.

This whole past year has been about feeling the fear and trying to find ways around that fear without it fully debilitating me. I love what I’m learning about myself and the growth I’m feeling. I’m learning a bit of fear is not the worst thing in the world!

One of the most upsetting thing though is how my mind keeps flashing these “alternate reality” scenarios in my head. PTSD! I still experience these horrible, mini movies where if it were just a few seconds off . . .or if the car was going faster…I keep thinking how I may not have survived or I could have been injured so much worse. Sometimes, I close my eyes, these images, flashbacks arise.

I know and have accepted that a shift in my life has occurred. I have been working really hard and not letting myself feel disappointed. But I have found that this year, as I have done in the past, I have looked for ways to control situations and prevent myself from feeling sad. Externally, I was upbeat and smiled, but inside I wondered why I had started to be afraid to cross busy streets, and why I trembled going to work, getting on a crowded train, especially if snowing and cold outside. I used up all of my vacation time this past year of 2013. I found myself preferring to stay indoors.

At times, it felt like my world was crumbling, but I knew I would not have made it that far had I not had hope. I just needed to take the time to heal. Needed time to focus not on what I lack, but what still remains. Life continues to be challenging. My dominant right hand still swells making it difficult to do my job a lot. I get tired and frustrated more easily but even there I am getting better at controlling.

So, yes, today marks a year since the accident. Sometimes it feels like it was five years ago; other times, especially when my hand swells and the pain is too much, I feel like it was just yesterday. No matter what day it is, I take the time to connect. In the morning, I lie on my back and breathe. Sometimes I cry. More so these day, I find myself smiling. Laughter happens often. There is no shame. Just one incredible journey…Busy living my life…on a true journey of learning to love myself, letting go of my fears…I find myself smiling more every day, looking forward to tomorrow, enjoying today, creating moments, giggling at the mere hint of the possibilities …breathing…inhaling, exhaling… I know the best is yet to come…I just know…keeping hope in my soul…grace in my step…love in my heart.

“She is delightfully chaotic; a beautiful mess. Loving her is a splendid adventure.” – Steve Maraboli


Like a Winter Tree, Letting Go….

“There is a big difference between giving up and letting go. Giving up means selling yourself short. It means allowing fear and struggle to limit your opportunities and keep you stuck. Letting go means freeing yourself from something that is no longer serving you. It means removing toxic people and belief systems from your life so that you can make room for relationships and ideas that are conducive to your well being and happiness. Giving up reduces your life. Letting go expands it. Giving up is imprisoning. Letting go is liberation. Giving up is self-defeat. Letting go is self-care. So the next time you make the decision to release something or someone that is stifling your happiness and growth, and a person has the audacity to accuse you of giving up or being weak, remind yourself of the difference. Remind yourself that you don’t need anyone’s permission or approval to live your life in the way that feels right. No one has the authority to tell you who to be or how to live. No one gets to decide what your life should look like or who should be a part of it. No one, but you.”

“You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend or new acquaintance- You don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings,ignores your boundaries, and “continues” to treat you in a harmful way, they have to go.”
― Danielle Koepke

Striving for…“The greatest step towards a life of simplicity is to learn to let go.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free


Life…crashingly beautiful…

“Is this life, to grasp joy only to fear its escape? The price of happiness is the risk of losing it.”

“Life’s finest day for wretched mortals here/Is always first to flee.” “Why do you linger?” he means. “Why are you idle? If you don’t grasp it first, it flees.”

If you fail to grasp life, it will elude you. If you do grasp it, it will elude you anyway. So you must follow it—and “you must drink quickly as though from a rapid stream that will not always flow.” The trick is to maintain a kind of naive amazement at each instant of experience— one of the best techniques for doing this is to write about everything.  So here I am…

Moving on is not about not looking back. It’s taking a glance at yesterday, and seeing how much you’ve grown since then.

Maybe I have failed more often than I have succeeded but I can pick myself up, hold my head high and move forward.

Because I’m telling you that from this great fall, I’ve come a long way and I love my life now more than I ever thought possible.

I do believe that living, accepting, moving forward…all become easier as I become stronger.

“Sometimes life knocks you on your ass… get up, get up, get up!!! Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.”

Life…crashingly beautiful…♥

Dave Matthews Band – Crash Into Me

Spandau Ballet – Crashed Into Love


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