Tag Archives: Leo Buscaglia

Feeling completely lost, yet grateful…for true friends!

Where did October go?? It’s been such a crazy few weeks. I have had so many things to write, but couldn’t find the time nor energy. Work and public transportation issues have kept me chained in the clock ticking too fast with little time to feel actually good and productive. My current job is not a good motivating place; it’s unfortunately a sad place filled with unhappy zombies. And they keep trying to drag me down to their level. I will continue to look for a better place to work. And try to avoid the slow, demotivating, disconnected people who sadly try to drag me down their brain-dead, soul-less level. The last few weeks (well to be honest, too many moments in the past years) – there have been times when I feel like I am in the dark. Fumbling. Desperately trying to find my way. Stuck in a dead end job or grieving from a lousy relationship or suffering from health concerns. Everything looks bleak. I seem to constantly be on the verge of tears with no end in sight. Yes….

And as sad as I have been lately, I find comfort in the few real friends I do have. You know those wonderful friends, who even though so much time can go by, and we don’t have the luxury in keeping in daily contact, but yet at the moment you need them, they are there with open arms, overflowing hearts and warm thoughts.

Today, the post office brought me a much needed “hug” from a far-away friend. And tears were of joy and accepting that I am not really ever alone.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring: all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” – Leo Buscaglia

And I have shared this following thought in an earlier post, but it bears repeating…

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. You learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises. You learn that loving doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t always mean security, and you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. After a while you learn to build all your dreams on today because tomorrows ground is to uncertain for dreams, and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn to accept your defeats with your head held with the grace of a woman and not the grief of a child. After a while you learn to plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone else to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really are strong, that you really do have self worth, and you can endure, and you learn and learn, with every “goodbye” you learn…

Advertisements

Compliments…the power of words…

I love when I get my hair washed and styled at the hair salon – I swear I walk out of there feeling like a million bucks! And having people compliment me before I even hit the street is a definite plus! But I didn’t always welcome compliments.  In the past, I could just not accept a compliment graciously, and say, ‘thank you”.

In the past, twenty people could come up to me in a day’s time and say something nice about me and I’d smile and say thank you, but in my mind I would dismiss every single compliment.  I simply couldn’t internalize something I don’t feel myself.    Maybe it was stupid – but it was my reality.

And sometimes, even now, especially when I go for treatment, I feel so ugly and useless, I may still have a hard time accepting a compliment…but I am more aware of this uneasy twinge, and manage to smile and confidently utter, “thank you”.

I no longer feel the need to counter any praise by listing off my flaws.  I no longer worry that by accepting admiration, I may appear arrogant.  I used to foolishly worry that I would come across as proud, conceited, or egotistical – if I accepted a compliment without following up with a negative.  I no longer feel this way.  I welcome and accept all compliments.   These days, I don’t find myself having to downplay my strengths and emphasizing my weaknesses.

So many people even with high self-esteem may tend to reject the compliment because they want to be seen as modest and humble; others with lower self-esteem may not accept the compliment because it is inconsistent with their self-image.    I guess also we sometimes think the person giving us a compliment only wants something – so we are less likely to believe it.

I understand now that a kind word, acceptance, actually makes me feel better; boosts my self-esteem.  I believe it even wards off some depression.  Compliments should lead to positive thinking, not lead us to focus on our flaws and questions other’s motives.

Between doctor visits, treatments, being too tired to perform 110% at work – I look forward to the smallest kindness.   Believing the kind words of others —when I am feeling stressed or sad can actually counteract those negative emotions and improve my mood dramatically.

Always in my pursuit of finding balance, I like to follow this goal:  Don’t let people’s compliments go to your head and don’t let their criticisms go to your heart.  I am not sure who first coined this expression – but the sentiment is a good reminder to all.

More words to live by:

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
– Leo Buscaglia

So today when my friend states, “When I compliment you, I compliment myself, because I am who I associate with”, I will just hug him and smile.  ♥


%d bloggers like this: