Category Archives: weight

Learning to love my curves….

Learning how to live within my new body…learning how to embrace my new curves. I understand that my weight does not define me, but I have to admit it’s frustrating to me when I try to get dressed for work, realize many of my clothes do not fit me. Up until my late 30s, I was never more than 110 lbs and at 5’2″ – I was okay with my body image.

The past few years have been filled with stress for me…divorce, unemployment, being laid off twice, taking care of my sick, elderly parents, dealing with the loss of my pet…I guess the weight gain was a gradual thing….but it wasn’t until a car accident this past January found me in active and home yet again…and NOW, I am 35 lbs heavier. No wonder none of my clothes fit me!!

Now that my bones have healed – I am on a mission…more walking, hiking, join a gym perhaps…

Many of my friends tell me I look great…but I don’t feel great. I am quickly learning that I have to focus on the following in my attempts to achieve a healthier life:

– Sleep more
– Stress less
– Throw out the medications I no longer need from my accident (steroids, pain meds, etc.)
– Regular exercise

Unfortunately, I still need to take my high blood pressure medicine – but it is important to remember that a few extra pounds may be well worth the trade-off for a healthy life as well. Also, something else I need to accept is that I am reaching that age where menopause is a reality. I am coming to terms with the fact that with aging comes a natural slowing of metabolism. At the same time, hormonal changes can trigger hunger, depression, and poor sleep. Such a cycle…

So in the meantime, I will live my life to the fullest…

“She began to measure herself in contentment and laughter rather than in inches and pounds.”

In the words of Miranda Lambert, “I won’t give up what I enjoy to look perfect. I want to find a happy medium between feeling good about my body and still having a beer and some barbecue.” ♥

Each day…bring meaning to your life…♥

I have been working for a little over a year now, have tried dating again, meeting new people – what I am learning each and every day is that I am really looking for more.  I meet so many people that just go through the motions of their lives, they seem content with the routine.  I am so different – I have been so impulsive in the past mainly due to the death sentence that hung over my head with the cancer diagnosis.  But with gift of a day, I am trying to be more grounded, stable but I still have this sense of joie de vivre.  I am still impatient, impulsive but am working on it.

I see many people at work who just do the bare minimum.  I can’t – I want to learn, grow, be challenged.  Even when the day’s tasks are boring, I try to teach myself one thing a day – even if it’s just a new word, a new shortcut in Microsoft software.

I continually learn that you don’t go out to find meaning in life, you bring meaning to your life!  Meaning isn’t something out there waiting for you to discover. The meaning of your life is what you infuse it with – beauty or ugliness, happiness or sadness. It is totally your choice, and God wants it to be your choice because God gave you free will.

So many people keep telling me I look better these days, my smile is ever present.  But other people tell me how much weight I have gained; my Mom and her friend have called me ‘fat’.  I understand that in either case, it is just words – but words still hurt – at any age.  I have been totally inactive for years.  And even with my being back to work the past year, after the car accident this past January – I have been totally inactive again.  I am trying to get up, out and about more.  I am hoping with the warmer weather, I will be able to walk more and gradually lose some weight.  Need to get back to eating better, caring more about myself.

I have been a little happier.  I have finally rid myself of those people who were just selfish and using me.  I keep the negative people at a distance.  And just keep moving forward.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself from people. If they care, they will notice. If they don’t, you know where you stand. And you can save yourself some heartbreak and sadness.

And I am going to take the advice a friend offered recently – “Eat like a queen in the morning, a princess at noon, and a peasant at dinner”.

And I will continue on my path to learning, experiencing new things.  Key in life is to live the questions…If you ask questions, then you are never lost…If you ask questions, you will find deeper meaning in the world…and hopefully with most of my health woes behind me, I need to accept that scars remind us where we have been – they do not have to dictate where we are going…

I plan to keep working on having the life I want, the one I deserve.  I need to work on following my own dreams.  Read an e-book recently by Jonathan Mead and love this quote, “This is a declaration of authenticity, an act of spontaneity, and a call to live deliberately.”  ♥

Living deliberately how I choose to live my life and will focus most of my energies on my journey.  I absolutely cringe at the thought of having life happen TO me as opposed to actively creating the life I want, the life that will make ME happy….each and every day, strive to do something spontaneous and just  for myself.  Try it….♥

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