Category Archives: Walls

The Letter

I came across this and OMG did it ever resonate with me …. so I had to share. Thanks Leslie @IWantMyKissesBack.

Letter to the emotionally unavailable men of the world:

Dear Mr. I Have A Wall Up –

Please stop wasting my time. It is not my job to break down that wall you put after what’s her name broke your heart. I like mystery but if you give me nothing, that is all I will give you back now. I do not have time to constantly try to prove myself and ask for forgiveness foe a crime I didn’t commit. Stop waiting for Ms. Right to come along and change your whole viewpoint on women and relationships, because we’ll she doesn’t exist. You create distance between people by relying heavily on impersonal means of communication like texting. You press ignore when she calls and you are always busy but the moment she is ready to walk away you give her just enough to keep her there for just a moment longer. You were hurt and since then you refuse to open up to anyone else unless they pry information out of you by threatening to push you over a ledge. You play games with women to see how strong they are, and to see if they will put up with your bs even when you are not willing to put up with theirs. You use humor and sarcasm to cover up your real feelings and even if you miss her you keep it a secret. You will never fall in love because you simply do not allow yourself to do so. You are a wuss and afraid that if you let anyone in that they will do what she did or worse. You think being closed off makes you look cool but instead it makes you look weak. The strongest people in the world are those that allow themselves the opportunity to feel. No girl has ever made your heart skip a beat, except for the nameless one who broke your heart and you go through women like underwear. You leave them confused or even worse heartbroken because they thought you were all in when you were really half assing it the whole time. You keep dating in hopes that the next woman will break that wall down and sweep you off your feet, but it is impossible. Only you can break down that wall and allow love to grow in your heart. Anything worth having involves risks, but without taking those risks, you will never develop a deep emotional connection with anyone. And in the process you will hurt many who were vulnerable enough to open up to you. In the end, you think you are strong because you don’t feel the pain that she does and you move on with ease. But deep down inside, there is a pain that lingers like the aroma left after a fire. You haven’t forgiven that person from your past and you are blaming the world for their mistakes. Guilty until proven innocent. But that, my dear, is not justice….nor is it love. Stop wasting my time and that of others. Work on yourself and once you remove that wall then think about giving me a call, but by then I probably would have moved on to someone who cared enough to give me an honest chance.

Sincerely,
Ms. Tired of Your Crap So Now I don’t Waste My Time With You Anymore

PS : I want my kisses back …


Walls

Its been said about me…”She’s strong because she knows what it’s like to be weak. She keeps a guard up because she knows what it’s like to cry herself to sleep.

I had to cut my vacation short and rush home. My step dad needs surgery. On our way to hospital earlier today, we were all so lost in our own thoughts of “what ifs” … and this song comes on … literally holding back tears. I am a stress mess.

I am exhausted, sleep deprived, running on fumes. I feel like I am in a bubble.

Girl meets boy; boy misunderstands and hurts girl; girl has no choice but to move on…

Isn’t that what building walls is all about? Trying to claim back your own strength in the face of adversity? Otherwise what reason to put up walls? It seems the higher the walls we put up, the greater the pain we have experienced in our past. I belong to the school of thought which believes that we, as humans, are hard-wired to persevere and fight back when our survival is at risk – not just our physical survival but our mental and emotional survival as well. When situations bring us to a point where we feel that we have been brought to our knees emotionally, we will fight back in order to get through it and find ourselves again. We will likely be extra sensitive, we will have our guard up, we will cry ourselves to sleep, and we will build walls. It is part and parcel in the healing process. Ideally, we will also push through our pain and come out the other side both stronger and more self-aware. We will survive, and if we want to live a full life, we will hopefully get to the point of allowing ourselves to trust again. (Gia)

“Yeah, I’ll be okay.” I type…And the tears fall, silently down my cheeks.


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