Now that summer is winding down and my J months of dating are behind me, I can share my notes on what I have learned from my dating experiences the past couple of months.
I have learned that chivalry is not completely dead. Thank goodness. I believe I am finally meeting the right people. I was raised by very traditional parents. My Dad did everything for my Mom and his four daughters; and my brother was raised to protect us as well, even though he was younger than us – his sisters.
Being the youngest girl and sickly as a child, made my Dad and brother extra protective of me. They wouldn’t let me do much, nor carry anything. I was exempt from most chores. I guess that is why I became a voracious reader and enjoy writing. But I digress.
One thing I grew up loving, was when my Dad and brother always walked closest to the curb, ensuring I was protected from any oncoming traffic, or splashes from cars hitting puddles. I’ve known men who religiously obey this unwritten rule and those that don’t even know it exists. Happily, lucky for me, lately, I have met men who are still old-fashioned, chivalrous and true gentlemen.
I have enjoyed the past few weeks. I have had men open doors for me, carry my bags, hold the umbrella in the rain, take my hand to help me out of the car, give me their jacket as the sun went down, stand as I entered the room, promptly on time, and ensured I arrived home and upstairs safely. It was refreshing.
I understand that we live in a society where women are fighting to be treated equally and are fiercely independent. And many of the traditionally gentlemanly acts are lost to so many. I have heard some women call men sexist for holding doors and even offering seats to them. Not me. Sadly, I think many young men are a product of today’s society and many may think they are damned if they do, damned if they don’t. They don’t want to be considered weak nor whipped.
Yes, women are totally capable of opening their own door. We are also capable of opening a door for a guy. It’s the kind thing to do for others. I have held the door open for many a people, regardless of their gender. I have offered my seat to all sorts of people – pregnant women, elderly people, people with many bags, or small children. When an opportunity arises to encourage, promote, and kindly accept chivalry, why not take it? Let’s allow more kindness in our lives. I will continue to allow the men in my life to be slightly old-fashioned, manly and chivalrous while I graciously respond to their actions.
I enjoy my femininity and prefer a masculine man. I don’t think I am weak nor helpless. I do like when men make me feel valuable and worthy of respect. I truly believe that it’s the small things that count in any relationship. Displaying good manners will always earn extra points with me. I encourage and appreciate male chivalry. These little things are romantic and sweet gestures as well to me.
When a man walks around me, so he could position himself to be on the outside, closest to the street and curb, makes me smile. I think it’s cute and somehow shows me he can be reliable. And I just know that my Dad and brother are smiling down on me from Heaven when I find a man to make me feel as protected as they did. I am truly thankful for the care and strength that the men in my life have shown me. I am blessed.
And if someone opens a door for me, offers me their seat, or any other chivalrous gesture – I will always smile and politely say, “thank you” … with a twinkle in my eye, grace in my step and hope in my heart.