Category Archives: Trust

No More Silence ….

My Texan friend was walking the Grapevine Trails in Texas the other day and ran into a video shoot in the making. He shares the story of how he met the beautiful two women who make up the Nashville duo of Mersi Stone. They were shooting the video for their song Push Me – how very exciting. SO of course, I had to look them up and WOW I came across this powerfully beautiful song and video.

And with October being Domestic Violence Awareness Month – made this song more forceful and compelling. Take a listen – spread awareness. Take a Stand Against Domestic Violence. Domestic Violence Needs To Stop!

#TakeAStandAgainstDomesticViolence
#TakeAStand
#StopDomesticAbuse


Tattered…

When you have a big heart ♥ –

You help too much
You trust too much
You give too much
and it always seems to hurt you the most, but just because you’ve been hurt today, doesn’t mean you should close off and live in fear of being hurt tomorrow.

Tattered but not torn…


I Will Learn To Love Again….

So many thoughts, feelings…words waiting to be written, shared…but the second my fingers touch the keyboard, I feel overwhelmed with emotion. Listening to music, trying to unwind and this song comes on….

“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent” – Victor Hugo

So letting this song express how I am feeling tonight…

I Will Learn To Love Again

To love again, to love again
To love again, to love again
To love again

Drowning in tears, that won’t be me
I will soon be, free from the chains of all this pain inside
And though I cry it won’t be long
Till I regain my strength to know I can go on

I will find my way through the heartbreak
I will not give up on love, I believe

I will learn to love again, I will learn to trust
Once this heart can start to mend
I will learn to, learn to love again

All of these tears, time will dry them
I will survive them, and make it through into another day
All of this pain, time will heal it
There’ll be a time sometime I know I won’t feel it

I will live through life without you
After the hurting is done, I believe

I will learn to love again, I will learn to trust
Once this heart can start to mend
I will learn to, learn to love again

And I will find someone who deserves my touch
After all the hurt is through, I will be so over you
I will not give up on love, I believe, yeah

I will learn to love again, I will learn to trust
Once this heart can start to mend
I will learn, to love again, I will love again…


In my solitude…

As in every summer the past few years, I try to date. I have to admit, this summer, I have not been filled with my usual joie de vivre. Usually when winter comes around, I hibernate; and enjoy my solitude. Sometimes, all I want is a partner, other times, most times I am relieved to be alone in my solitude. I honestly can’t wait until winter…and the ringing in of the new year. Thank goodness its only 142 days away from 2014…2013 has not been a good year, I am still in pain from accident, exhausted, unpleasant, very close to coming unhinged.

If you ask me, there’s a moment in everyone’s life when you feel helpless, are just helpless. Trust me I know. I have been lost before…barely hanging on…with hope, faith and trust. And then something happens, something too big to understand,and then everything changes forever.

I have all these feelings – these weird, unsettling feelings, and I have had this burning desire to express them. But I can’t fully. I just can’t. I try. But somehow I feel like I speak this language and can’t make myself understood. And all these feelings I have – they are trapped and they are stuck in my heart…And I just feel so lonely.

Do you know why people hate to admit they are lonely? It’s because when you do, everyone thinks that something is wrong with you. They think “I have people in my life, why don’t you?” But the strange thing is, you can have people in your life and still be alone. I sometimes find myself in a crowd of people, but no one can hear me or understand me. So I rather be alone….in my solitude.

Sometimes people do actually feel that way. Sometimes your life feels like it’s caving in on you. Sometimes people really do feel like they don’t want to exist, like they want to just curl up in a ball, and go into that place between life and death. Saying “I don’t want to exist” isn’t saying “I want to go die”. It’s saying “I wish that, for the time being, I could go somewhere and not have to feel”. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. And if you don’t know how it feels to feel this way, then you have no place to judge anyone who does.

I am telling you, there’s nothing wrong with being lonely sometimes, it’s okay…I know I will be alright…just not today…


What hurts you today, makes you stronger tomorrow…

Rough week!  So over the moon its Friday…but the weekend is already mocking me with silence.  Took my Chili dog to the vet, learned he had arthritis and a spinal injury deterioration – he is limping around a little better with his new meds.  Poor little guy – he has already endured two knee surgeries.  I had to go to the Orthopedic today to learn my results from my MRI – sure enough I need surgery on my right hand – they found a tear in my ligament, a cyst, and central perforation…enough said.  Was praying against hope that surgery would not be needed.  But learning that somehow this is my life…

I find myself repeatedly asking God how much am I to take and when will it be my year but I somehow find the strength He provides for me to keep moving forward…smiling through my tears.   I was hoping to find someone special by now so I can find comfort and support in another but I guess it’s just not my time.  I know my Mr. Perfect for me is out there.  And I know that God has a plan as to why my life, physically and emotionally needs to go through this pain now with broken bones that don’t heal.

I am learning that letting go has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength.  We let go and walk away not because we want others to realize our worth, but because we finally realize our own worth.

Sometimes you just need to do your best and surrender the rest. – Don’t be too hard on yourself.  There are plenty of people willing to do that for you.  Tell yourself, “I am doing the best I can with what I have in this moment.  And that is all I can expect of anyone, including me.”  Love yourself and be proud of everything that you do, even your mistakes.  Because even mistakes mean you’re trying.

You are in control of one person, and one person only: yourself. – There is only one way to be happy, only one route to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of your control.  Letting go in your relationships doesn’t always mean that you don’t care about people anymore; it’s simply realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.

What’s right for you may be wrong for others, and vice versa.– Think for yourself, and allow others the privilege of doing so too.  We all dance to the beat of a different drum.  There are few absolute ‘rights’ and ‘wrongs’ in the world.  You need to live your life your way – the way that’s right for you.

Some people will refuse to accept you for who you are.   And I am learning not to care as much.   Always choose to be true to yourself, even at the risk of incurring ridicule from others, rather than being fake and incurring the pain and confusion of trying to be someone you’re not.  When you are comfortable in your skin, not everyone in this world will like you, and that’s okay.  Yup…it really is.

Relationships can only exist on a steady foundation of truth.  When there is a breakdown in a relationship, you must have the hard conversation.  It may not be pretty and it may not feel good.  But if you are willing to listen and tell the truth, it will open up.  When you learn how to build relationships based on truth and authenticity, rather than masks, false perfection, and being phony, your relationships will heal, connect, and thrive.

Sometimes walking away is the only way to win.  Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who have proven that they are committed to misunderstanding you.  In other words, don’t define your intelligence by the number of arguments you have won, but by the number of times you have said, “This unnecessary nonsense is not worth my time.”

Sitting in silence I will learn to hide my pain…

Focusing on what I have left, not only on what I have lost.

It truly should never be all about what you have lost, but about what you have learned.

Still looking forward on putting my loss behind me….looking forward to my newest finds….

I have said this before…

Every day I am crumbling more apart and yet falling more together all at the same time.

We all need to remember one simple thing: it’s OK to be lost. It’s OK to let go of needing all the answers. It’s not going to kill you— in fact, it just might bring you to life.

I’ve lived, I’ve loved, I’ve lost, I’ve missed, I’ve hurt, I’ve trusted, I’ve made mistakes, but most of all, I’ve learned.   Very happy that I am in one piece…mind, heart, body and spirit…. All good to go….♥


Trust…

Only trust someone who can see the following three (3) things in YOU:

  1. The sorrow behind your smile.
  2. The love behind your anger.
  3. The reason behind your silence.

♥ mm ♥


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