Category Archives: Scar

My Scars Tell A Story …

20170804_204354I was on the line this past week at the NYC Passport Agency … more than 2 hours in 90 degree August weather … Not fun!  Realized that sometimes life becomes less about living and more about waiting … So tired of waiting!

A complete stranger noticed my scar on my back, near my right shoulder blade.  They asked me what happened.  I was surprised because it’s been a part of me for 40+ years – I forget it’s there.  I had my first cancerous tumors at six months old.  Forty years ago, no one was thinking beyond me getting healthier and growing old – not worrying about scars and plastic surgery.  This stranger mentioned I should look into scar revision surgery.   I politely listened to them.  But in my head I am thinking please leave me alone.   My scars are mine and they tell my story.  Some days they bring me comfort and remind me how much I have gone through and of my strength.

The quote by Steve Maraboli – resonates:  My scars tell a story. They are a reminder of times when life tried to break me, but failed.

My life has been hard.  It still is – most days.  I deal with sadness, grief, pain, hurt, anger, loss … I struggle on a daily basis to get out of bed and just put one foot in front of the other, trying to find my purpose and my smile.  I struggle to find the tenuous line between what hurts me and what heals me.  I struggle in letting go of the past and keep moving forward.

So I need to see beauty in my scars.  So many of us have scars – some visible, many not.  Some are inside of us, some are on the outside prominently and permanently on display.

So I will show my scars … because I continue to fight and survive.  I won’t hide my scars.  They are my reminders that I am still alive.  They serve as proof that God is forever healing me.  And I will keep finding beauty in my life and sharing my story … with grace in my step and hope in my heart.


Hope is beautiful…

Heard today….”Tragedy makes you even more beautiful”…taken aback at first, I found myself speechless…yes me speechless…Beauty is definitely in the eyes of the beholder…”Beauty in things exists merely in the mind which contemplates them.”

I am an emotional mess these days.  I feel ugly – inside and outside.  It’s been a month since my accident and I am so tired of the pain I feel each second of every minute of every day.  I am tired of trying to learn how to do the simplest of things with my left hand.  I understand there are a few good people who are truly in my corner praying for me and hoping that the scars within me are not as visible on the outside nor on the inside.  I am afraid to see people because then they will see that I am barely clinging to life by a shredding thread….of hope.

So many people unfortunately see beauty as something to be measured and weighed.

I no longer see beauty that way. I see beauty as the grace point between what hurts and what heals, between the shadow of tragedy and the light of joy. I find beauty in my scars.

We all have scars, inside and out. We have freckles from sun exposure, emotional trigger points, broken bones, and broken hearts.  The invisible scars are the hardest to let go and deal with.

However our scars manifest, we need not feel ashamed but beautiful.

It is beautiful to have lived, really lived, and to have the marks to prove it. It’s not a competition—as in “My scar is better than your scar”—but it’s a testament of our inner strength.  I am strong.  I know this…I just have to keep reminding myself.

“The tragedy in a man’s life is what dies inside of him while he lives.” – Thoreau.  I am tired of dying a little at a time.  I don’t want to hide, to run away, to stay away…I will always somehow manage to smile through my tears…it’s just that some days are truly harder than others.

The Dalai Lama, the Tibetan saying:  “Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.  No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.”  I believe, I continue to hope…for better days.

…smiling through my tears…♥


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