Category Archives: Rumors

Frenemies…

The worst kinds of enemies are those who pretend to be your friends…yes, sadly true…and all around me.

I have no real need nor time for people who come to me when they need me, then throw me aside when they are fine.

Learned the hard way that fake friends are like your shadow, they follow you in the sun, but leave your side when it gets dark.

My accident this past January has really opened my eyes as to who my real friends are in my personal as well as my work life.

It’s really hard to trust people these days. I find myself always looking over my shoulder these days, waiting for the back stabbing knife in my back. We must be so careful who we share our weaknesses with. Learning that some people can’t wait for the opportunity to use them against us.

False friends, frenemies, are people who pretend to be a friend and then turn out to be just the opposite. Yup!! There are some people who get close to you for the specific reason to make fun of you behind your back, delight in the misery you endure, use you for whatever you can give them, and find out about your life so they can gossip about it later. Sad…especially when we are no longer in high school.

Because we generally want to see the best in people, we may give false friends several chances to prove that they are more than an enemy in disguise. However, when you discover a false friend in your life, you should distance yourself from them. Life is too short to be surrounded with people who don’t really care about you. So negativity be gone. I have cut people out of my life…who have proven they are no longer a true friend.

There are different types of friends – so called friends:

– The Opportunist: Use and abuse, and never return a favor.
– Egocentric, self centered: Always talking about themselves, brags a lot.
– The woe is me friend: only seek you out for therapy, and tend to hold grudges.
– The true fake friend: Smiles in your face, talks behind your back.
– Snobby friends – lack mutual respect.
– Spy friend or interloper: uses, interferes, intervenes, climbing on you – these are the jealous ones, they take ownership of your ideas, efforts, etc. Watch out for the blackmail. sigh
– Ignores: They meet someone, start a new romance and all of a sudden, they don’t return calls, break plans, etc.

All of these “friends” are missing out on a very important part of their emotional life. In the long run, they are ones that will lack the balance and support that friendship can give. And us poor gentle souls are better off without them. These fair weather friends only want to come around when they need your sun to shine on their dark and gloomy days. I know I have enough sunshine but I no longer need the shadows.

And because I have a big heart, have been accused of being naive and gullible…I tend to give people many chances. But knowing when to leave a friendship is more crucial to me these days. Choosing to let friends go is never an easy thing. If your friend has consistently shown you that they will leave you high and dry, it may be time to walk away. Sometimes we give people the benefit of the doubt and immediately think of them as our friend, when they perhaps don’t feel the same way. Maybe they are using you, or maybe they just don’t know how to be a friend. Either way, wish them the best and mean it, and then return to the people in your life who do treat you well….I am….♥

‪#‎ThingsThatAnnoyMe‬: Why try and be fake when being real takes less effort? ‪#‎HateFake‬


There’s no smoke without fire…

Why do people cheat??   And I mean cheat on their partners – not on their taxes…

When I was engaged to the love of my life, thoughts of other people, didn’t even cross my mind, Hugh Jackman could have tried to seduce me, and as flattered as I would have been, I would have smiled, and walked away.  But when I married one of my closest friends, I have to admit I took many glances at others, but even then I remained faithful, and semi-unhappy in a non-passionate marriage.  Now that I am divorced and looking for love again, I find that many people cheat – and we are older now, in our 40’s and 50’s.  I just don’t quite understand.

I have tried talking about this to my friends, to people who cheat.  But unfortunately, they haven’t been able to give me a  clear-cut answer, maybe there isn’t one.  I don’t know.

We spent a lot of time talking about the consequences if they get caught.   You really need to consider the worst-case scenario: Your partner finds out and is brokenhearted – Ask yourself, is it worth it?

You need to truly ask yourself why are you doing this, going behind their back and meeting up with someone else…To me, cheating is a choice…looking for attention, looking to find a new spark, instead of rediscovering it at home…maybe it isn’t this simple.  I admit, I do not know.

Many of my friends, acquaintances – have provided the following reasons for cheating, for stepping out of their marriage, relationship:

  • Boredom
  • Thrill of the unknown
  • She/he has changed
  • Feelings of neglect
  • Failure to communicate leads to less intimacy
  • Lack of emotional and relationship satisfaction
  • She/he nags too much
  • You are both leading parallel lives, doing things separately
  • Wanderlust – compelled to break from your daily routine
  • Passion has fizzled, need/want something new, different, exciting
  • She/he crave sexual “variety”
  • Ego needs a boost, need extra affirmation that you still got it…

Sex and love mean different things to many people which may lead them to cheat guilt free.  If someone experiences guilt, it is most likely not about the sex, but about the consequences…will the lover kiss and tell?  Will the partner find out?

Still….why do people cheat??

“We’re only monogamous because we realize that love and friendship are more important than getting laid,”

If I’d known you were cheating me,

I would have saved myself and set you free.

If I learned you weren’t the loving kind,

I would have saved some peace of mind.
My friends told me you would break my heart,

And never last, we would surely part.
There’s no smoke without fire,

Baby, baby you’re a liar.
People talk in this little town,

Rumors keep spreading all around.

And now word has it you’ve been foolin’ me,

I’m so blind that I cannot see.
My friends told me never to believe in you,

You never loved me you were never true

There’s no smoke without fire,

Baby, baby you’re a liar.
No there’s no smoke without fire.

Baby, baby you’re a liar.

You’re a liar

You’re a liar

You’re a liar

Baby you’re a liar.
There’s no light without a flame,

There’s no use in having you to blame.
No…There’s no smoke without fire.

Baby, baby you’re a liar.

You’re a liar…


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