Category Archives: Lover

Waiting On Something Beautiful

Been home sick, trying not to get too depressed, watching old movies… watched “Waiting To Exhale” and I absolutely love the scene where James (Wesley Snipes) sends Bernadine (Angela Bassett) a letter – melts me.

I miss the days where people actually write words down on paper.

Below is the except of that note from James in the movie:

I’ve been thinking about you a lot, Bernie.  Every day. All the time.  I’m embarrassed to even write that down…but it’s true.

Bernie, I fell in love in one night.  You know what’s even harder for me to understand…is that what I feel for you…has never undercut the love I have for my wife.  Now, how is that possible?
I still watch her every day.  So beautiful. So brave.  I just wanna give her
everything I’ve got in me.  Every moment.  She’s hanging on, fighting to be here for me…and when she sleeps, I cry…over how amazing she is…and how lucky I’ve been to have her in my life.  Can I say it?

 

You’re the only person in this world I ever knew I could tell this to…
and even if this never finds you…and we never speak again…you’ve changed my life.

You know what inspiration is?  It’s someone who lets you know life will go on…and something beautiful can be waiting somewhere.  Somewhere when you least expect it.

Yes, waiting to exhale…waiting on something beautiful…with grace in my step and hope in my heart…

Advertisements

Woman of a Certain Age …

Watching the movie, “Something’s Gotta Give'” and it dawned on me that this could be my life story … well minus the beautiful beach house, the daughter, the fabulous playwright’s career, and the turtlenecks.

But when the main character’s sister recites this – it about sums up my life right now:

Zoe: This is really fascinating, what’s going on at this table. Let’s take you and Erica. You’ve been around the block a few times. What are you, around 60? 63. Fantastic! Never married, which as we know, if you were a woman, would be a curse. You’d be an old maid, a spinster. Blah, blah, blah. So instead of pitying you, they write an article about you. Celebrate your never marrying. You’re elusive and ungetable, a real catch. Then, there’s my gorgeous sister here. Look at her. She is so accomplished. Most successful female playwright since who? Lillian Hellmann? She’s over 50, divorced, and she sits in night after night after night because available guys her age want something-forgive me, they want somebody that looks like Marin. The over-50 dating scene is geared towards men leaving older women out. And as a result, the women become more and more productive and therefore, more and more interesting. Which, in turn, makes them even less desirable because as we all know, men- especially older men- are threatened and afraid of productive, interesting women. It is just so clear! Single older women as a demographic are about as fucked a group as can ever exist.”

I am closer to 50 than I am to 40 and have been completely single for almost 4 years.  Sure I have been on a few dates but rarely find myself going on 2nd dates.  I know I put the kibosh on most the dates … but when these men who ask me out are in their late 20s, 30s, I sit there and start thinking we really have nothing in common.  I start imagining them wanting children, listening to different music, not knowing how to dance a proper waltz … they rather drink beer than order a nice bottle of wine, they rather go to a night club than a nice jazz lounge … yes, I have nothing in common with most men in their 30s.  I would love to meet a single, available, down-to-earth, honest man in his 50s.  Yet, sadly they are all chasing women in their 20s and 30s.  I never considered myself a ‘woman of a certain age’ but I am … trying to not get jaded and give up on dating.  I am thankfully not convinced I am past the age of romance, much less sexual re-awakening.  I believe I still deserve it all … I would just prefer to find it with a man closer to my age.

Now if all the younger men I met were as sophisticated, gorgeous and a doctor as Keanu Reeves’ character in the movie, I would have kept him and forgotten all about the aging 60+ Lothario.  Keanu Reeves gets me hardcore crushing every time.

I am looking forward to once again finding true love and passion … until then I continue being a woman to love  …

 

 

 


Longing…

Ever sit still, in utter silence, and hear the rustling leaves and branches on a tree?  If you inhale, hold your breath, and just listen…you can hear the longing from the tree…filled with strength, such a sanctuary.  It’s like a lover’s whisper, irresistible yet scary – filled with more questions than answers at times.

“The Portuguese call it saudade: a longing for something so indefinite as to be indefinable. Love affairs, miseries of life, the way things were, people already dead, those who left and the ocean that tossed them on the shores of a different land – all things born of the soul that can only be felt.”  ― Anthony De Sa, Barnacle Love

We are homesick most for the places we have never known.

“The feelings that hurt most, the emotions that sting most, are those that are absurd – The longing for impossible things, precisely because they are impossible; nostalgia for what never was; the desire for what could have been; regret over not being someone else; dissatisfaction with the world’s existence. All these half-tones of the soul’s consciousness create in us a painful landscape, an eternal sunset of what we are.” ― Fernando Pessoa

“Erotic longing is really a longing to merge with something greater than oneself. For every kind of love is a force that holds the promise of taking us beyond the limitations of our individual lives.”  ― Julianne Davidow

Longing…for home, happiness…all held together by hope.


Lazy Sunday…

Lazy Sunday…dreaming of little blue Tiffany boxes and yellow diamonds…

In my dreams, you are my life. In my life, you are my dream…♥

Lazy Sunday…finished watching, James Patterson’s ‘Sundays at Tiffany’s” … loved it.

I wish I had an imaginary friend / guardian angel turned lover…

Wait for the person who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. Wait for the person who will be your best friend, the only person who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances.

The best love is the one that makes you a better person, without changing you into someone other than yourself.

In life, God doesn’t give us the people we want. Instead he gives us the people we need.
To teach us, to love us and to make us exactly the way we should be. When we are young, we have limited experience of life and so less knowledge of the type of people in the world. Sometimes, we meet the flashy person, and get impressed too soon, have a romantic idea of life and have unrealistic dreams too.

When we do not get the ideal people of our dreams in our life, we get disheartened, even disillusioned. But, if we are lucky, as time goes by and we learn to live with them, we realize that life is a lot more than mere dreaming.

It is these real life people in our lives, who teach us how to really live our life. We can learn how to love in life, and feel contentment. They can help us understand life and teach us how to live it to fullest. God does all this with a purpose, to brighten our life.

“Everyone is born creative; everyone is given a box of crayons in kindergarten. Then when you hit puberty they take te crayons away and replace them with dry, uninspiring books on algebra, history, etc. Being suddenly hit years later with the ‘creative bug’ is just a wee voice telling you, ‘I’d like my crayons back, please.” ― Hugh MacLeod

“After a while the middle-aged person who lives in her head begins to talk to her soul, the kid.” ― Anne Lamott, Joe Jones

Like in the movie I watched today – let’s hope we never lose our inner child.

“and I think that everything in life is kind of unreal, isn’t it?” ― James Patterson, Sundays at Tiffany’s

“It was like meeting someone out of your dreams, or fantasies, or a beloved character from a favorite book.” ― James Patterson, Sundays at Tiffany’s

Laugh so hard that even sorrow smiles at you.
Fight so strong that even fate accepts defeat.
Love so true that even hatred walks out of the way.
And live life so well that even death loves to see you exist and live.


%d bloggers like this: