“When a man gives his opinion, he’s a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she’s a bitch.”
― Bette Davis
It’s amazing to me that in this day and age there are still people who are threatened by intelligent women who have a voice. I work in IT Finance…and there are only two of us women in a team of 30 people. I can’t believe the drama they cause because I am more organized, quicker, smarter and just plain old more charismatic than they are. I am tired…slightly disillusioned. It has been a long week of nonsense at work. I heard one of my peers, and I am using the term loosely, badmouth me to a team of 5 other people…and I stood there and listened quietly in the shadows. I have to admit it made me tear up…sadly. Luckily, they were none the wiser. I have tried so many ways, times, to get along with them, be nice, even defer to them when I shouldn’t have. Nothing has worked…after a full year they still treat me like an outsider, keep me out of the loop, etc.
At work and at home, I am honest – sometimes too honest. I know I sometimes hurt other’s feelings. But my intentions are always pure; I say things at times because I truly want to help the other person grow, learn. I don’t believe in lying, in hiding behind shadows, or pretending. Life is too short to live sideways, and half-halfheartedly. As I have mentioned before, I rather be slapped by the truth then kissed with a lie…each and very day! Pretense sucks the very marrow of my bones, soul out of my body! I think Noel Coward said it best, “It’s discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.” truly disheartening.
So now I feel like it’s High School all over again but now the real bullies in my life are male co-workers. Either they are chasing, asking me out, ignoring me or bad mouthing me behind my back…sad. Gender equality requires tackling stereotypes…especially in Corporate America, Finance and IT!!
And this sums things up for me neatly…for now…
“The difference between my darkness and your darkness is that I can look at my own badness in the face and accept its existence while you are busy covering your mirror with a white linen sheet. The difference between my sins and your sins is that when I sin I know I’m sinning while you have actually fallen prey to your own fabricated illusions. I am a siren, a mermaid; I know that I am beautiful while basking on the ocean’s waves and I know that I can eat flesh and bones at the bottom of the sea. You are a white witch, a wizard; your spells are manipulations and your cauldron from hell yet you wrap yourself in white and wear a silver wig.”
― C. JoyBell C.