Category Archives: Destiny

Embracing Coincidence …

One of my all time favorite TV shows is Criminal Minds. I finally had the time to watch this weeks episode this morning. Thank goodness for DVR.

One of the things I love about this show is that they always share a quote that is apropos and I always love how it resonates with our lives. And gives us a chance to truly contemplate on certain things.

My favorite character is Dr. Spencer Reid – LOVE HIM! Okay, I even like the actor who plays him – Matthew Gray Gubler.

Quotes from this week’s episode, made me really think about life chances, changes and the many theories used to explain events in our lives.

Morgan: “It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” ~ Tony Robbins.

Rossi: “The world is so unpredictable. Things happen suddenly, unexpectedly. We want to feel we’re in control of our own existence. In some ways we are, in some ways we’re not. We are ruled by the forces of chance and coincidence.” ~ Paul Auster.

Reid: “Maybe the events in our lives were set in motion a long time ago. There’s an old Buddhist saying that, when you meet your soulmate, remember that the act to bring you together was 500 years in the making. So, always appreciate and be kind to each other.

So many times, life plays out like a domino effect, and we rationally think all has a cause and an effect. How many times does something unexpected happen in our lives, a coincidence so incredible and we are stunned, thinking, “Wow, that was weird – oh it must just be a coincidence.” We can’t always rationalize things. Ah is it chance, luck … synchronicity?

And when it can’t be explained away by rationale – is it now synchronicity? Carl Jung took a leap of faith to explain his theory: Synchronicity is the coming together of inner and outer events in a way that cannot be explained by cause and effect and that is meaningful to the observer.

We all want to believe we are in constant control of our lives, but are we really? I have learned to accept that much of what happens in most people’s lives is beyond their control. We can plan, plan, plan … yet one single, random act, can start a whole other series of events … dominoes. I am proof that one person, thing, detail, event can and will change everything. Ripples.

Your most carefully planned life plan can be ruined … or enhanced by a single chance moment. We tend to believe that our decisions are based on preparation and well thought out logic; but no matter how smart and thorough we are, sometimes it’s not enough.

There are events in life that shake up our world, throws us into chaos, survival mode, or if lucky, into some of happiest moments. We are at our most vulnerable. Joyful news of a baby, sad news of a death, fun news of a celebration, a promotion, a new, exciting romance, marriage, divorce … so many events that can cause us to rethink our lives. We become more introspective, become more aware, grow as humans. Change can challenge us and disrupt our lives. If we learn to accept, appreciate these changes, we can move forward in our lives … with grace in our steps, hope in our hearts. I do.


I know I will see you again …

I get so more melancholy and turn more quietly inward – especially between August through September. I have lost so many people I truly loved. For the past 13 years, I dread today. I dread the anniversary and the repeated replays of the planes, the impacts, the fireballs and the collapsing towers.

It truly is like ripping off a Band-Aid … but my heart feels this open wound. Today, 13 years ago, I lost four true friends, one my irreplaceable heart, my soul mate.

The days will always be brighter because he existed. The nights will always be darker because he’s gone. And no matter what anybody says about grief, and about time healing all wounds, the truth is, there are certain sorrows that never fade away until the heart stops beating and the last breath is taken. Always my heart ♥mm♥ …(Excerpt from Tiffanie DeBartolo, God-Shaped Hole)

I have come to realize that destiny can hurt a person as much as it can bless them, and I find myself wondering why – out of all the people in all the world I could ever have loved – I had to fall in love with someone who was taken away from me.

One day he was there and then all of a sudden, he is gone. There’s less of him each passing year. And you wonder where that part went – if it’s living somewhere, outside of you, and you keep thinking maybe you’ll get it back. And then you realize…it’s just gone.

Many say it’s easier to burn than to build; many say it’s easier to hurt than to heal…But I say you lose when you give up what you love…And I’ve lived my life without that long enough.

I hold pieces of him; I hold them so tight that they eventually become pieces of myself that am still learning to grow from but never away from. I hold onto them so tight that they eventually become the only pieces that can hold my shaky bones together. They become the only pieces that can keep this broken heart of mine held together…

Have you ever thought that if one thing hadn’t happened, a whole set of things never would have either? Like dominoes in time, a single event kicked off an unstoppable series of changes that gained momentum and spun out of control, and nothing was ever the same again. Don’t ever doubt that a mere second can change your life forever. It can. It has. Everything does really happen for a reason.

I’ve got no more illusions…I know I’ll see you again…but for today, I am allowing myself to fully experience the full impact of my loss. Grieving all over again. Grief…I am following it, crying when I want to, yelling at God, screaming into my pillow, and avoiding most people and definitely the news.

Grief is itself the only medicine I need right now. And anyone who doesn’t understand this or who can’t accept, stay away from me. So fake better stay away from me.

“After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. You learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises. You learn that loving doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t always mean security, and you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. After a while you learn to build all your dreams on today because tomorrows ground is too uncertain for dreams, and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn to accept your defeats with your head held with the grace of a woman and not the grief of a child. After a while you learn to plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone else to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really are strong, that you really do have self worth, and you can endure, and you learn and learn, with every “goodbye” you learn…” (Veronica A. Shoffstall)

“I am not the happiest person. In fact, in the battle between joy and misery, I’d say that the latter often seems to prevail. I don’t like this, and every day I refuse, for the eighty millionth time, to put up with another minute of it. But the world does what it does, and I often find it disagreeable. After all these years, I’m kind of resigned to that. But I do have one thing on my side: I have enormous faith. And hope. I am not speaking of the kind you find in church or in the afterlife or in heaven or in the Saint James Bible or in the Hare Krishna’s that we all encounter changing flights in the airports of the world, I am speaking of a simple faith that says that one way or another, no matter how many times I stumble and stub my big toe, somehow life is going to work itself out.” (Elizabeth Wurtzel)

candles


Understanding leads to transformation….♥

“Everyone who terrifies you is sixty-five percent water.  And everyone you love is made of stardust, and I know sometimes you cannot even breathe deeply, and the night sky is no home, and you have cried yourself to sleep enough times that you are down to your last two percent, but nothing is infinite, not even loss.  You are made of the sea and the stars, and one day you are going to find yourself again.” – Finn Butler

Anger clouds the mind

Hatred blurs the vision

Peace clears the mind

Love restores the vision

“I free myself from hatred through forgiveness and love. I understand that suffering, when it cannot be avoided, is here to help me on my way to glory. I understand that everything is connected, that all roads meet, and that all rivers flow into the same sea. That is why I am, at this moment, an instrument of forgiveness, forgiveness for crimes that were committed; one crime I know about, the other I do not.” – Paulo Coelho

Transform your life.  Rewrite your destiny.  I am…

Esthero – Crash ft Jonah Johnson Lyrics:

Crashed down on the floor, hold your breath and fall apart.
You made a simple mistake and now you’re paying for it with your heart.
Some of us make our own beds, but we can’t afford to lay in them.
Remember I always have said you should leave me alone.

‘Cause I don’t wanna crash now I’m afraid, that I’m going nowhere way too fast.
And I can’t hear what you say, I’m in a conversation with my past.
And maybe is wasn’t brave, so much as brazen but it got me through.
And somehow the path that I’ve paved just keeps leading me to you.

But I don’t wanna crash now, mm mm.
I don’t wanna crash now, mm mm mm.

I shouldn’t have been afraid to let you down, I just wanna hold you in my arm again.
If only for a moment I could have you here, lady, I would never let you go.

‘Cause I don’t wanna crash now, no oh.
I don’t wanna crash now, no way.

Come on in the sun,
When you’re scared, and facin’ down.
‘Cause here I am, in front of you, and you will not, be alone.

Keep facing the sun you’ll reach it one day,
Baby don’t look back ’til you get what you need
And you need to be free.
And when the sun rolls down there’s still tomorrow,
Don’t you be afraid to let your sorrow breathe,
Your strength is all you need.

Did you ever know you were the one?
‘Cause I could hardly even tell.


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