Category Archives: Clouds

“In life and love, expect the unexpected…”

How many of you have seen the movie, “Moonlight Mile”?   This is how I have been feeling all weekend into Monday…”I feel like I have been in a place where nothing’s right, where every moment’s backwards, every sky’s without color, without hope…”…so I am sitting here determined not to play games, waste my time nor anyone else’s – no games, only hope…

Some of the quotes / lines from the movie that resonated with me:
Truth is hard
colors wrong styles wrong
guess its where the good ones live
Where have I been – where I went
I went to a place where is nothing right
where everyone hurts
sky is without color without hope
Every moment is backwards
I tried to come back but I got lost
I thought I found home when I found you
“Dear Bertie, You asked me before where I went. And I want  to tell you. I went to a place where nothing’s right, where every moment’s  backwards, every sky’s without colour, without hope. I tried to come back,  Bertie. But I got lost. And while I was gone, I met you. And I didn’t even have  the courage to realize I was home. A wise friend of mine told me “we all have  our homes”, and now I know it’s true. I hope you get this letter, Bertie. I  figure I got 75 chances. Cause if you do you’ll know that in the end, that’s  where I was. I found home, Bertie. I found you. I hope you can find your’s soon.  Get there – as fast as you can. And write me when you do. Love, Joe.”
“I’m sorry,  I can’t, I can’t do this. It didn’t happen. We loved each other, we broke it  off. If I don’t-Jesus, if I don’t say this now, it’ll never-she’ll never be a  part of this. What are we-what are we doing here? I don’t even-I don’t even know  this guy. She-she didn’t even know this guy. What’s he got to do with her? I  don’t-look, you asked me to bring her in the room, and she’s not here-she’s not.  And whatever happens here, whatever happens to this guy, she’s not here. And the  only way that you’re gonna bring her in here is with the truth. I don’t know-I  don’t know what else to say. You just tell me what to say, and I swear, I’ll  try, but if you want her, you got to keep it honest. You have to understand that  Diana had this thing, this way of bringing out the real in people, not just the  best, you know-their honesty. And I guess she’s doing it again now cause there’s  no way I’d be sitting here saying these things I can’t believe are coming out of  my mouth. It was Diana who finally had the courage. *She* was the one who told  *me* that I didn’t want to go through with it. And I guess she’s-she’s doing it  again, cause all of this-all of this is everything that she wouldn’t want. She  wasn’t a bride-to-be. She wasn’t a victim. She was strong and real and messed up  and wickedly honest, just like her mother. And if I sit here trying to paint it  any other way, I… Oh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I just-I thought-I thought that if  I could just… paint the pictures that you needed, you know, that… that  somehow… that somehow you’d bring these people some peace, finally, and they’d  have their daughter back, or… But, uh… that’s not how she’d wanna be. The  truth is hard. Sometimes it looks so wrong, you know-the color’s off, the  style’s wrong, but I guess it-I guess it’s where the good one’s live…”
With a head full of snow everything makes sense yet it all eventually crumbles into fragmented BS upon sober self-reflection.  Like a drug, it’s all consuming, self isolating, leading to nowhere fast….avoiding….
Only hope…♥

My musings…

In the words of Andre Breton, “All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name”…this is how I have been feeling…something so close, slightly unclear, out of reach, nearly in my grasp, but I can’t quite put my finger on it…continues to stretch away from me out of sight…*sigh*

Definitely a T rambling kind of night especially with the thunderstorm raging outside.  Ah the written word…Words make love with one another…

Learning that I need to let go…and that it is okay to fall in love again…it’s okay to believe in love again.  Nights like this definitely make me realize that I wish I had someone close, near me, to snuggle up with.

Seems I’ve been playing on the safe side
Building walls around my heart to save me,
But it’s time for me to let it go

Yeah, I’m ready to feel now
No longer am I afraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I’m ready to love again – LADY ANTEBELLUM

“Ready To Love Again” – Lady Antebellum

Someday, I know I will completely forget the hurt, the many reasons I cried, and finally put those behind me who caused the pain.  I will finally realize that the secret of being free is not betrayal nor revenge, but letting things unfold in their own way and their own time. After all, what matters is not the first, but the last chapter of our lives; which shows how well we lived our lives.  So I am once again letting go of all my fears, giving myself permission to be happy, setting myself free…free to be me, and not be so afraid to fall in love again.

The only way to forget, to let go is to accept; and the only way to move on, is to keep looking ahead…looking for my sun on the cloudiest of days…peeking through just to make me smile.  I know it’s out there.

“…actions, speak louder…There’s some kind of storm brewing…Now that I’ve done my time, I need to move on and I need you to try
Cause we’re out of goodbyes…We’re out of goodbyes, we’re out of goodbyes…”

Maroon 5 ft. Lady Antebellum- Out Of Goodbyes


Raindrops are like my tears…falling…in my heart…

♥ Maybe raindrops are the bravest thing created by God. Want to know why?  They are never afraid of falling just like me and my tears…♥  So its raining, and I cry…cry from from sheer exhaustion, utter confusion, profound sadness…will to strive for better.

When it rains, most birds fly for shelter; but the eagle alone avoids the rain by flying above all the clouds.  Lesson to be learned:  We should be like the eagle and believe we can fly above the storm of life…it’s been a bad week…I need to find my inner eagle.

Sometimes we need to be hurt in order to grow.  We must lose in order to gain.  As, some lessons are learned best through pain…as the rain falls and allows the true beauty of spring time shine through…flowers bloom, petals glisten…

I am trying to focus on the good – even though the outside world might be raining, if you keep on smiling the sun will soon show its face and smile back at you…must keep faith!

Wise saying:  An umbrella can’t stop the rain, but can make us stand in the rain while it protects us from the rain. Confidence may not bring success, but it gives us the courage and power to face any challenges.

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer view again ~ Alex Tan.

Sometimes it’s better to break down in tears and show your emotions than to keep it all inside and not tell a single soul.

I want, need, to believe that the happiest people are the ones who can say, “When all is going wrong, when the clouds get in the way, that a little unhappiness must balance the joys and that a bit of sadness has its place, too”.  These people know the balance of nature’s way…nothing grows where only the sun shines…

A lonely tear an Angel shed.
It fell to earth one day.
It touched upon a heart in pain,
And sent it on its way.
The love of others going on.
It’s hard, for those it leaves;
But spring time, brings the joy of promise.
And in quiet solitude, I shed many a lonely tear.

Sometimes what are being lived are the tears…I cry…cry with all the strength I have because with every tear, every tear is accompanied by a prayer into heaven…

Tears streaming down my face, falling down my cheeks, as my eyes burn, reflecting the pain of our last encounter…as I sit here and its raining sorrow and I just know I will remain awake until tomorrow. ♥mm♥

Ah raindrops keep falling…raindrops fall, pelting against the pavement, as tears continue to fall down my cheeks, melting away at my heart….♥

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