Category Archives: Clarity

The Week Weak Girl I Am

I am honestly beginning to believe chemo has made me stupid. I have definitely lost brain cells but I know its my lack of clarity, especially when it comes to the men I have been meeting, dating – and that lack of clarity comes more from my level of insecurity, my insecurity stemming from why would someone date a sick girl. I just realized that these guys have only asked me out on dates during the week – NEVER on the weekends. Yes! They must have a more special lady friend they want to wine and dine on the weekends. I have been beyond stupid, blind, just out of my realm. I think I was so happy just to be noticed that I lost sight of reality. I realize now that I was not considered good enough to be seen on the weekend. I am crushed all over again. Its just when I try to get to a good place, I allow someone or something to take me back down. I am trying so hard not to be that girl – the one who cries on the weekends over a guy. Hating them serves no purpose. So I pull inward. I know I should not. I need to let this go. I resolve to no longer be that week weak girl.

On my slow journey of moving forward…with hope in my heart, grace in my step…

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