Category Archives: Angel

Yes … Jealous of the Angels

Three of my heroes are in Heaven … missing them like crazy.   I heard this song and more truer words have not been spoken ….

“In a world where heroes come and go
Well God just took the only one I know … ”

 

I didn’t know today would be our last
Or that I’d have to say goodbye to you so fast
I’m so numb, I can’t feel anymore
Prayin’ you’d just walk back through that door
And tell me that I was only dreamin’
You’re not really gone as long as I believe

There will be another angel
Around the throne tonight
Your love lives on inside of me,
And I will hold on tight
It’s not my place to question,
Only God knows why
I’m just jealous of the angels
Around the throne tonight

You always made my troubles feel so small
And you were always there to catch me when I’d fall
In a world where heroes come and go
Well God just took the only one I know
So I’ll hold you as close as I can
Longing for the day, when I see your face again
But until then

God must need another angel
Around the throne tonight
Your love lives on inside of me
And I will hold on tight
It’s not my place to question
Only God knows why
I’m just jealous of the angels
Around the throne tonight

Singin’ hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
I’m just jealous of the angels
Around the throne
Tonight

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Love Lang …

I came across words, passages, quotes that loudly resonated with me and discovered an author that is in my head as well as heart – Lang Leav.

“What was it like to love him? Asked Gratitude.
It was like being exhumed, I answered, and brought to life in a flash of brilliance.

What was it like to be loved in return? Asked Joy.
It was like being seen after a perpetual darkness, I replied. To be heard after a lifetime of silence.

What was it like to lose him? Asked Sorrow. There was a long pause before I responded:

It was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me—said all at once.”

————————————————-

“It happens like this.

“One day you meet someone and for some inexplicable reason, you feel more connected to this stranger than anyone else–closer to them than your closest family. Perhaps this person carries within them an angel–one sent to you for some higher purpose; to teach you an important lesson or to keep you safe during a perilous time. What you must do is trust in them–even if they come hand in hand with pain or suffering–the reason for their presence will become clear in due time.”

Though here is a word of warning–you may grow to love this person but remember they are not yours to keep. Their purpose isn’t to save you but to show you how to save yourself. And once this is fulfilled; the halo lifts and the angel leaves their body as the person exits your life. They will be a stranger to you once more.

————————————————-

It’s so dark right now, I can’t see any light around me.
That’s because the light is coming from you. You can’t see it but everyone else can.”


Beverley Mitchell – Angel

Play Song
“Angel”

Have you ever met an angel
Whose smile is like the sun
Whose laugh is like a melody
That reaches everyone

Have you ever hugged an angel
Swept up in their embrace
And swear there’s nothing in this world
That makes you feel that safe

[Chorus:]
Have you ever really loved an angel
Once you have you’ll never be the same again
Have you ever had to let go of an angel
Say goodbye, let ’em fly, my angel, my best friend

Have you felt the strength of an angel
When you needed it the most
Lifted by those gentle wings
You know you’re not alone
Every now and then I feel the peace inside
Wherever life may take me, I’m guided by that light

[Chorus:]
Have you ever really loved an angel
Once you have you’ll never be the same again
Have you ever had to let go of an angel
Say goodbye, let ’em fly, my angel, my best friend

Cause I have really loved an angel
How could I ever be the same
Cause I have had to let go of my angel
Say goodbye, let ’em fly, my angel, my best friend…♥


Sympathy, empathy…Grieving…

Another sad day as the sun shines bright bringing another angel to Heaven. My second cousin, who died June 11, 2013, left a hole in our family; but now he is being joined by his only son, his namesake – who died a hero at the age of 24, trying to save a friend. Both young men drowned this weekend. My heart is broken and aches for my cousin’s wife, the mother of this selfless young man.

This death marks the second for me in less than two weeks. But this one hits me so much harder. My feelings are a mix of sympathy, empathy, selfishness, grief, guilt, confusion…so many jumbled feelings.

When my cousin died last June, I was so afraid to see him in the casket. My cousin looked so much like my brother growing up. My brother passed away when he was only 25 years old, twenty years ago; but there isn’t a day that I don’t think about him, miss him. I think I was filled with so many anxious feelings of having to relive the moment of seeing my brother in the casket again. And now thinking of how my cousin’s son died…due to drowning and he was only 24 – almost exactly like my brother. It’s surreal. I feel like my heart is being ripped open again, emotions so raw, jumbled. Feeling like I did 20 years ago.

I know I can’t fully understand how my cousin-in-law feels – losing her husband, now losing her only son. I am sympathetic. I worry how she will survive, and find a way to move forward. Although, I feel sorry for her loss, I am also feeling strong pangs of empathy, and reliving my own personal loss from many years ago. It may be impossible to be fully empathetic because each individual’s reactions, thoughts and feelings to tragedy are unique. But I am not just feeling sorry for, I am sorry with and have placed myself in the midst of someone else’s emotional reactions.

Learning that grief takes on many forms, and never goes away fully.

“You don’t get over it, you just get through it. You don’t get by it, because you can’t get around it. It doesn’t ‘get better’; it just gets different. Everyday… Grief puts on a new face.” – (Wendy Feireisen)

“Learn to get in touch with silence within yourself, and know that everything in this life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.” – (Elizabeth Kubler-Ross) ♥


Where are you….♥

“Well, sometimes love seems easy. Like… it’s easy to love rain… and hawks. And it’s easy to love wild plums… and the moon. But with people, seems like love’s a hard thing to know. It gets all mixed up. I mean, you can love one person in one way and another person in another way. But how do you know you love the right one in every way?”

“I’m not sure, but I think you’ll know. I think if it’s the right person, it’ll be better than rain and hawks and wild plums. Even better than the moon. I think it’ll be better than all that put together.” ― Billie Letts, Where the Heart Is

There you are in the early light of day
There you are in the quiet words I pray
I’ve been blessed by the simple happiness
Of the perfect love we’ve made

Every time I turn around
When I’m lost and when I’m found
Like an angel standing guard
There you are

Every time I take a breath
And when I forget to breathe
You’re watching over me
There you are

When I’m looking for the light
In the middle of the night
Searching for the brightest star
There you are

There you are standing in a crowded room
There you are the earth and I’m the moon
My desire is to stand by the fire
That burns inside of you

Every time I turn around
When I’m lost and when I’m found
Like an angel standing guard
There you are

Every time I take a breath
And when I forget to breathe
You’re watching over me
There you are

When I’m looking for the light
In the middle of the night
Searching for the brightest star
There you are

When I’m looking for the light
In the middle of the night
Searching for the brightest star
There you are, there you are
There you are


Sad day…

“The person who completes suicide dies once.
Those left behind die a thousand deaths,
trying to relive those terrible moments
and understand…WHY?”

My heart is breaking…just learned my cousin committed suicide.  He had been depressed for years, his marriage failed, the economy affected him.  Just so sad.

The death of a loved one is never easy to experience, whether it comes without warning or after a long struggle with illness.  But several circumstances set death by suicide apart and make the process of bereavement more challenging.  I don’t even know what to say to my family, my cousins, his children, his ex-wife.  So shell shocked.

His death by suicide was sudden, violent, and so very unexpected. Having to deal with the police is an added burden now.  So many mixed emotions.  Insane.  Heartbroken.

I found a penny today just laying on the ground.
But it’s not just a penny, this little coin I’ve found.
Found pennies come from heaven,
that’s what my Grandpa told me.
Grandpa said, “Angels always toss them down.”
Oh, how I loved that story.
He said, “When an Angel misses you, they toss a penny down…
Sometimes just to cheer you up,
and make a smile out of your frown.”
So don’t pass by that penny when you’re feeling blue.
It may be a penny from heaven,
that an Angel’s tossed to you.

 


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