Today … a very new friend of mine is traveling from NYC to Iceland for 14 days and I find myself obsessed with the very thought of him lingering in my mind, in my thoughts, in my random smile. As I write, think on this, I hear the song, “Linger” by the Cranberries. Signs are everywhere, if you keep your mind and heart open to them.
I always tend to attempt dating each and every summer … and those months starting with the letter J! Being June already is no different. What is different is actually believing this may be a real possibility of me finding myself again, of falling in love – that I won’t get bored, distracted, jaded, disillusioned, overwhelmed. I won’t make excuses, and go back into hibernation. I am nearing the end of my 40s and I don’t plan on being alone. I owe it to myself, and to my Michael’s forever love for me to keep moving forward, accepting love, and no more settling.
We all wish to be wanted, desired – I can easily admit that I need it.
We all want to be understood – I will no longer settle for less.
I have had so many people I love die way too young. I want to live with purpose, live more fully for them as well as for myself. Life moves too fast. In a blink, you can have it all and lose it all as quickly.
This week, I find myself more alive, carefree. Wanting … wanting not to be alone.
Longing to be held by strong arms. Feel my fingers entwined with another’s.
Living to anticipate a kiss that takes my breath away … again.
Looking forward to staying awake until the sun rises.
I want to slow down and listen, breathe it all in.
I want to stare into his eyes, get lost in reliving the moments.
I want to be free to be me around him.
I will sit quietly and wonder if he dares to let our lips linger without fully kissing, breathing me in and holding me tight.
I wish time could stop … I wish I could stop time – so we can linger.
An honest life is made of moments of both good and bad – I fully understand this. But right this minute, this instance, this small moment in time, I want my conversations with him to linger … and when I sigh, I want him to sigh.
Is this all too much to wish upon? No – already our conversation linger on my lips … as always with grace in my step, hope in my heart, smile on my lips …