Watching the movie, “Something’s Gotta Give'” and it dawned on me that this could be my life story … well minus the beautiful beach house, the daughter, the fabulous playwright’s career, and the turtlenecks.
But when the main character’s sister recites this – it about sums up my life right now:
“Zoe: This is really fascinating, what’s going on at this table. Let’s take you and Erica. You’ve been around the block a few times. What are you, around 60? 63. Fantastic! Never married, which as we know, if you were a woman, would be a curse. You’d be an old maid, a spinster. Blah, blah, blah. So instead of pitying you, they write an article about you. Celebrate your never marrying. You’re elusive and ungetable, a real catch. Then, there’s my gorgeous sister here. Look at her. She is so accomplished. Most successful female playwright since who? Lillian Hellmann? She’s over 50, divorced, and she sits in night after night after night because available guys her age want something-forgive me, they want somebody that looks like Marin. The over-50 dating scene is geared towards men leaving older women out. And as a result, the women become more and more productive and therefore, more and more interesting. Which, in turn, makes them even less desirable because as we all know, men- especially older men- are threatened and afraid of productive, interesting women. It is just so clear! Single older women as a demographic are about as fucked a group as can ever exist.”
I am closer to 50 than I am to 40 and have been completely single for almost 4 years. Sure I have been on a few dates but rarely find myself going on 2nd dates. I know I put the kibosh on most the dates … but when these men who ask me out are in their late 20s, 30s, I sit there and start thinking we really have nothing in common. I start imagining them wanting children, listening to different music, not knowing how to dance a proper waltz … they rather drink beer than order a nice bottle of wine, they rather go to a night club than a nice jazz lounge … yes, I have nothing in common with most men in their 30s. I would love to meet a single, available, down-to-earth, honest man in his 50s. Yet, sadly they are all chasing women in their 20s and 30s. I never considered myself a ‘woman of a certain age’ but I am … trying to not get jaded and give up on dating. I am thankfully not convinced I am past the age of romance, much less sexual re-awakening. I believe I still deserve it all … I would just prefer to find it with a man closer to my age.
Now if all the younger men I met were as sophisticated, gorgeous and a doctor as Keanu Reeves’ character in the movie, I would have kept him and forgotten all about the aging 60+ Lothario. Keanu Reeves gets me hardcore crushing every time.
I am looking forward to once again finding true love and passion … until then I continue being a woman to love …