Walls

Its been said about me…”She’s strong because she knows what it’s like to be weak. She keeps a guard up because she knows what it’s like to cry herself to sleep.

I had to cut my vacation short and rush home. My step dad needs surgery. On our way to hospital earlier today, we were all so lost in our own thoughts of “what ifs” … and this song comes on … literally holding back tears. I am a stress mess.

I am exhausted, sleep deprived, running on fumes. I feel like I am in a bubble.

Girl meets boy; boy misunderstands and hurts girl; girl has no choice but to move on…

Isn’t that what building walls is all about? Trying to claim back your own strength in the face of adversity? Otherwise what reason to put up walls? It seems the higher the walls we put up, the greater the pain we have experienced in our past. I belong to the school of thought which believes that we, as humans, are hard-wired to persevere and fight back when our survival is at risk – not just our physical survival but our mental and emotional survival as well. When situations bring us to a point where we feel that we have been brought to our knees emotionally, we will fight back in order to get through it and find ourselves again. We will likely be extra sensitive, we will have our guard up, we will cry ourselves to sleep, and we will build walls. It is part and parcel in the healing process. Ideally, we will also push through our pain and come out the other side both stronger and more self-aware. We will survive, and if we want to live a full life, we will hopefully get to the point of allowing ourselves to trust again. (Gia)

“Yeah, I’ll be okay.” I type…And the tears fall, silently down my cheeks.

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About Teresita

I am a writer, a thinker, an introvert, work behind the scenes kind of person - I am of Puerto Rican blood, have an Italian soul, and a Berliner mind....just learning...♥ View all posts by Teresita

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