My emotions are so sensitized now. My intuitive, feeling nature is too strong. Feeling overwhelmed. I an gripped by feelings of nostalgia and compassion. Memories of feelings and situations long forgotten are bubbling at the surface. Wanting some resolution. Memories and old feelings… things I tried to suppress, some things I actually thought I managed to bury, others I have wanted to forget….all making a reappearance. Holidays coming too fast. I really need to finally get some closure. This past year has been about reacting, surviving, especially since the accident. Now I have to deal with issues that have been pushed to the edge. Understanding I am my own biggest problem; but I also know I am my own solution. Just don’t want to change too much. I don’t want to harden or become too jaded. I have always cared too much – about everything, anything. I don’t want to stop caring.
I fully understand that beginnings are only possible where there are endings. Clear acknowledged endings are as necessary to intelligible life, as pauses between notes to intelligible music. Although endings sometimes feel like the end of me; trying to take them for what they really are – the end of a stage in my life. Here is to new beginnings!
Holding onto hope…55 days until New Years Day!!! ♥