Monthly Archives: August 2013

Happy Friendship Day!

Today is Friendship Day!

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”
— Henri J.M. Nouwen (The Road to Daybreak: A Spiritual Journey)

There’s an old adage “You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family.” I find that to be pretty amusing because I believe that you can, and I do. I have a small circle of friends that have proven throughout the years to be my own insular family unit!

At some point in time somebody, somewhere came up with the narrow-minded belief that family is most important because they are your blood. I am all for family members being more important but in no sense do I believe that you can’t choose who those members are. I am almost certain that there is not one family in this world that is not screwed up in its own way. You can not always depend on these blood relatives let alone even be able to stand them at times.

Even though I believe that you can pick your family, I don’t want it to seem like I am against sticking with the family you were born with. The way I see it is you start off as this bright red apple on your family tree. As time goes by things happen that change the fate of that apple on the tree. You either develop a close relationship with those related to you and you remain that shiny red apple or butt heads with those people long enough that one day that you as the apple start to shrivel up and fall off that tree completely. That’s the point were choosing your family becomes an option.

I am the shriveled-up apple that fell to the ground. I come from a particularly large family and as unfortunate as it is I can only count on one hand how many of those people I am actually close with. The reality is that if any two people are going to have a falling out or be betrayed by one another it is going to be family members. It is more likely for them to be caught in a highly stressful or traumatic situation that would force them to become hostile and tear apart from one another.

From my own experience, it is the people that I am not related to that I am able to get along with best. Not only get along with but be able to trust and depend on. As much as I would love to be able to be close with my ‘blood family’ that is not a possibility for me. Sadly, I have never been on the best of terms with them and though sometimes it is difficult I do my best to never let it get to me. Instead I choose to focus on the few people that I consider my ‘family’ because I am really fortunate to have them in my life. My fiends are the family I choose for myself…♥


Sometimes people come into your life…

Sometimes people come into your life and you know
right away that they were meant to be there, to serve
some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help
you figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be – a roommate, a
neighbor, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a
complete stranger – but when you lock eyes with them,
you know at that very moment they will affect your
life in some profound way.

Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible,
painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you
find that without overcoming those obstacles you would
have never realized your potential, strength,
willpower, or heart.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness,
and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of
your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they
may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight
flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and
comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the
success and downfalls you experience, help to create
who you are and who you become. Even the bad
experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are
sometimes the most important ones.

If someone loves you, give love back to them in
whatever way you can, not only because they love you,
but because in a way, they are teaching you to love
and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your
heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn
about trust and the importance of being cautious to
whom you open your heart.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take
from those moments everything that you possibly can
for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk
to people that you have never talked to before, and
listen to what they have to say.

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your
sights high. Hold your head up because you have every
right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and
believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in
yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in
you.

You can make anything you wish of your life. Create
your own life and then go out and live it with
absolutely no regrets.

And if you love someone tell them, for you never know
what tomorrow may have in store.

Learn a lesson in life each day that you live! Today
is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday. Was
it worth it?


Random hopefulness…mixed with wistfulness….

What a crazy busy few weeks….work, deadlines has me spinning. And dealing with sick parents and dog, affords me very little breathing me time. I don’t sleep probably just to have some me time….to write, to breathe, to hum, etc.

I desperately need a vacation, just two days to myself to regroup, but unfortunately I won’t have that time, nor luxury. Writing helps to clear my head and stop my world from going over that cliff of despair.

I want one hour with my best friend but I haven’t even heard her voice in months – life keeps us missing each other.

Soon….I hope….

You never really know how much the people around you are hurting. You could be standing next to someone who is completely broken inside and you wouldn’t even know it. So never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have. And remember that there are two ways to spread light in this world: You can either be a flame of hope, or a mirror that reflects it. Be one of the two every chance you get. I am trying…to hold onto this and believe and also trying to spread hope. Even when I can’t text, call, or see my friends, I try to remain hopeful… wistful…♥


Cleaning Up My Facebook…again!

This is my second attempt at cleaning up my Facebook friends list…I created FB at the insistence of family cousins, but somewhere in time, my friends list grew to include former co-workers, friends of friends, etc. Tiresome – too many posts getting lost in my newsfeed. So, today I went through my Facebook friends list again with a metaphorical machete.

I un-friended all of my co-workers, past and present. These “friends” are really a professional networking contact, and that is what LinkedIn is for.

I un-friended those acquaintances of friends that after meeting me once, wanted to be “friends”…and if they played CityVille or Farmville, I happily accepted them. But that was when I was home more, unemployed. Now who has time for all of those FV games?? Not me. So delete, delete.

I want to keep my Facebook profile for family only. We are all scattered through the States and it is a great way for them to see pictures of my dog, and all the great desserts I devour. 🙂

So, now I have reduced my friends list by about a third, making it more manageable and more meaningful to me. One last bit of advice: don’t worry too much about hurting people’s feelings. Maybe if someone is truly hurt I can always add them back. Besides, trying to ferret out who will pout and who won’t care is a guessing game that will paralyze me.

Life….


Voices…

Ever hear a voice and know it was meant to whisper to you, stir your soul? I spoke to someone yesterday and knew from a simple, “hello”…that something wonderful will come of this exchange. Time will tell.

In my awake dreams…we meet, we part, you walk away from me, your back to me…so much felt, so much unsaid…maybe we can live in this silence. I won’t deny my feelings…resistance is not an option. I am a willing victim, wanting to surrender to you…always leaving me wanting more. Of you, us. Fueled by our time apart. Words unspoken. It is within the very stillness of my solitude, that I can hear my soul whispering…I sit here at home alone in my thoughts where your very essence lingers…fractions at a time.

I lost my heart a long time ago…and the pieces of its broken core have yet to mend. Maybe your first true love is the one that sticks with you because it’s the only person who will receive all of you. After that, you learn more, but most of all, no matter what, a piece of you forever remains left behind in the heart of the one you first loved – a piece no future lover could ever get, no matter what. That piece holds innocence, the belief that love really can last forever; it held true friendship and real pain; trial and error; that one kiss you’ll never forget and that night under the stars you can never get back; it holds youth and everything you thought love would be, everything that was proven wrong….but life moves forward. Hearts harden and minds get weary.

I say no more…I long for the whispers in my ear. The tingle of fingers touching. Longing…voices of the future competing with voices of the past…


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