Monthly Archives: July 2013

Acrostic Poem on Life….

Acrostic Poem on Life:

Love’s
Interactive
Fervent
Epilogue

♥♥♥


Acrostic…anyone?

Learned a new form of poetry writing…Acrostic: An acrostic poem is one that uses a word written vertically and each letter of the word then acts as the beginning letter for a new line of the poem. Whatever is written using each letter must connect to the subject matter.

Harder than I thought it would be…practicing and determined….

How you flow into my thoughts, for no reason, at times
Uninvited, yet, most welcome where warm smiles begin
Good days or bad, near or far, we’ll share
Sweet moments of embrace whenever our souls stir…♥


Frenemies…

The worst kinds of enemies are those who pretend to be your friends…yes, sadly true…and all around me.

I have no real need nor time for people who come to me when they need me, then throw me aside when they are fine.

Learned the hard way that fake friends are like your shadow, they follow you in the sun, but leave your side when it gets dark.

My accident this past January has really opened my eyes as to who my real friends are in my personal as well as my work life.

It’s really hard to trust people these days. I find myself always looking over my shoulder these days, waiting for the back stabbing knife in my back. We must be so careful who we share our weaknesses with. Learning that some people can’t wait for the opportunity to use them against us.

False friends, frenemies, are people who pretend to be a friend and then turn out to be just the opposite. Yup!! There are some people who get close to you for the specific reason to make fun of you behind your back, delight in the misery you endure, use you for whatever you can give them, and find out about your life so they can gossip about it later. Sad…especially when we are no longer in high school.

Because we generally want to see the best in people, we may give false friends several chances to prove that they are more than an enemy in disguise. However, when you discover a false friend in your life, you should distance yourself from them. Life is too short to be surrounded with people who don’t really care about you. So negativity be gone. I have cut people out of my life…who have proven they are no longer a true friend.

There are different types of friends – so called friends:

– The Opportunist: Use and abuse, and never return a favor.
– Egocentric, self centered: Always talking about themselves, brags a lot.
– The woe is me friend: only seek you out for therapy, and tend to hold grudges.
– The true fake friend: Smiles in your face, talks behind your back.
– Snobby friends – lack mutual respect.
– Spy friend or interloper: uses, interferes, intervenes, climbing on you – these are the jealous ones, they take ownership of your ideas, efforts, etc. Watch out for the blackmail. sigh
– Ignores: They meet someone, start a new romance and all of a sudden, they don’t return calls, break plans, etc.

All of these “friends” are missing out on a very important part of their emotional life. In the long run, they are ones that will lack the balance and support that friendship can give. And us poor gentle souls are better off without them. These fair weather friends only want to come around when they need your sun to shine on their dark and gloomy days. I know I have enough sunshine but I no longer need the shadows.

And because I have a big heart, have been accused of being naive and gullible…I tend to give people many chances. But knowing when to leave a friendship is more crucial to me these days. Choosing to let friends go is never an easy thing. If your friend has consistently shown you that they will leave you high and dry, it may be time to walk away. Sometimes we give people the benefit of the doubt and immediately think of them as our friend, when they perhaps don’t feel the same way. Maybe they are using you, or maybe they just don’t know how to be a friend. Either way, wish them the best and mean it, and then return to the people in your life who do treat you well….I am….♥

‪#‎ThingsThatAnnoyMe‬: Why try and be fake when being real takes less effort? ‪#‎HateFake‬


Undeniable Adult Truths

Undeniable Adult Truths – Joe Kelly (Had to share…)

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection, again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1 .7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Ladies…..Quit Keep Laughing.


Hypocrisy….and sex….

“When a man gives his opinion, he’s a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she’s a bitch.”
― Bette Davis

It’s amazing to me that in this day and age there are still people who are threatened by intelligent women who have a voice. I work in IT Finance…and there are only two of us women in a team of 30 people. I can’t believe the drama they cause because I am more organized, quicker, smarter and just plain old more charismatic than they are. I am tired…slightly disillusioned. It has been a long week of nonsense at work. I heard one of my peers, and I am using the term loosely, badmouth me to a team of 5 other people…and I stood there and listened quietly in the shadows. I have to admit it made me tear up…sadly. Luckily, they were none the wiser. I have tried so many ways, times, to get along with them, be nice, even defer to them when I shouldn’t have. Nothing has worked…after a full year they still treat me like an outsider, keep me out of the loop, etc.

At work and at home, I am honest – sometimes too honest. I know I sometimes hurt other’s feelings. But my intentions are always pure; I say things at times because I truly want to help the other person grow, learn. I don’t believe in lying, in hiding behind shadows, or pretending. Life is too short to live sideways, and half-halfheartedly. As I have mentioned before, I rather be slapped by the truth then kissed with a lie…each and very day! Pretense sucks the very marrow of my bones, soul out of my body! I think Noel Coward said it best, “It’s discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.” truly disheartening.

So now I feel like it’s High School all over again but now the real bullies in my life are male co-workers. Either they are chasing, asking me out, ignoring me or bad mouthing me behind my back…sad. Gender equality requires tackling stereotypes…especially in Corporate America, Finance and IT!!

And this sums things up for me neatly…for now…

“The difference between my darkness and your darkness is that I can look at my own badness in the face and accept its existence while you are busy covering your mirror with a white linen sheet. The difference between my sins and your sins is that when I sin I know I’m sinning while you have actually fallen prey to your own fabricated illusions. I am a siren, a mermaid; I know that I am beautiful while basking on the ocean’s waves and I know that I can eat flesh and bones at the bottom of the sea. You are a white witch, a wizard; your spells are manipulations and your cauldron from hell yet you wrap yourself in white and wear a silver wig.”
― C. JoyBell C.


Then…

TsMondayMusings: I may not be where I need to be but I thank God I am not where I used to be! A good life is when you assume nothing, do more, need less, smile often, laugh a lot and realize how blessed you are for what you have…#FeelingBlessed…♥

Couldn’t sleep last night and found myself listening to possible wedding songs for a friend…came across this one and absolutely loved it…sharing….

I remember trying not to stare
The night that I first met you,
You had me mesmerized,
And three weeks later,
In the front porch light,
Taking 45 minutes to kiss goodnight.
I hadn’t told you then,
That I thought I loved you then

And now you’re my whole life,
And now you’re my whole world,
And I just can’t believe the way I feel about you girl,
Like a river meets the sea, stronger than it’s ever been,
We’ve come so far since that day,
And I thought I loved you then

And I remember taking you back to right where I first met you,
You were so surprised.
There were people around, but I didn’t care,
I got down on one knee right there,
And once again
I thought I loved you then

And now you’re my whole life,
Now you’re my whole world,
And I just can’t believe the way I feel about you girl,
Like a river meets the sea, stronger than it’s ever been,
We’ve come so far since that day,
And I thought I loved you then

I can just see you, with a baby on the way
I can just see you, when your hair is turning gray
What I can’t see is how I’m ever gonna love you more
But I’ve said that before

And now your my whole life
Now your my whole world
I just can’t believe the way I feel about you girl,
We’ll look back someday at this moment that we’re in
And I’ll look at you and say
And I thought I loved you then
And I thought I loved you then


Narcissism in the mirror…

I find it incredibly sad that adults feel the need to continually insult, belittle, blame others for their misfortune or unhappiness.  When do people grow up, mature and take responsibility for their own actions and reactions?  These insecure people find it easier to say that other people are the ones with the problem because they can’t look into the mirror and admit the truth….they have issues, they need to admit and work on resolving.

I see myself too clearly at times…and that is why I am alone, happy….narcissism does exist…in the mirror.

I find it sad that these so called adults feel the need to insult to feel empowered.  Their lives are in a rapid spiral downward and they need to hold onto the shred of their dignity.  Yes, these marginalized people insult in order to be empowered…to manipulate.  How do I accept, deal with at times inane insults?  I clean house….I throw out the trash, I don’t allow these people in my life anymore.   I only let sunshine touch my heart and mind.  I block out the negativity.  Now as many of you know I deal with an abusive mother, but unfortunately, I can’t erase her out of my life.  But I limit my contact with her; and only allow positive, caring people in my life.  One negative person in my life is enough.  My reply to most inane people:  “You are so insignificant that I don’t even care to register your words, your inability to apologize let alone to take offense at your insult.”  Yes, loving my life with quality people who know the difference between truth and lies, between acceptance and denial…between growth and immaturity.

Its taken me a long time to understand my mom and her small ways.  She is not happy unless everyone is as miserable as her.  It’s a psychological defense mechanism. They try to make themselves feel superior by making others sad. Doesn’t work, does it? Its always some else’s problem, huh?  The old me, would have tried to help, “fix” these damaged people.  But I have spent half of my life trying to no avail.  I am not responsible for someone else’s happiness.  Only mine.  The old me would have stuck around, been a doormat – thank goodness, no more.

I choose to live my life responsibly, deliciously, deliriously happy…

My way of dealing with negative people:  “Out of my sight! Thou dost infect mine eyes.” – Shakespeare, Richard III

And in the words of Shaw, “The trouble with many is that they lack the power of conversation but not the power of speech.” …so ignore the lies in their empty words.

“Don’t compare yourself with anyone in this world…if you do so, you are insulting yourself.” – Gates

♥ LML ♥  Breathing, moving forward, transforming my life….


Need to Learn to Put Myself First!

What does an oxygen mask have to do with a respectful space – work or home?

They both identify the need to help yourself first before you can care effectively for others.

If you want to better care for and relate to others, health experts encourage you to put yourself first. Regard and respect the person you spend the most time with…YOURSELF!!   The most important relationship – the one you have with yourself – sets a tone for all of our other reactions.

Lately, I am feeling alone and completely burned out.  Insomnia has always been my friend…enemy.  And, being pushed around by others making constant demands on my time, energy leaves me beyond drained.  I am completely wiped out.  In desperate need of some real ME time.  I feel as I am constantly taking care of others and am lacking in taking care of myself.

I feel I have not had any time alone in at least 3 months. I need to take some time for myself before I have a meltdown of my own.  Literally….with this heatwave we have been having as well.

Soon….learning how to be more selfish….and love myself more…♥

 


Confront…

Confronting a problem in life makes you open and vulnerable to hurt and pain.  But by allowing yourself to face what’s been bothering you, you will be able to finally close that chapter in life and be okay.

You can’t change what you refuse to confront…

So confront, deal, accept, keep moving forward…I am….♥

 

 


There’s no smoke without fire…

Why do people cheat??   And I mean cheat on their partners – not on their taxes…

When I was engaged to the love of my life, thoughts of other people, didn’t even cross my mind, Hugh Jackman could have tried to seduce me, and as flattered as I would have been, I would have smiled, and walked away.  But when I married one of my closest friends, I have to admit I took many glances at others, but even then I remained faithful, and semi-unhappy in a non-passionate marriage.  Now that I am divorced and looking for love again, I find that many people cheat – and we are older now, in our 40’s and 50’s.  I just don’t quite understand.

I have tried talking about this to my friends, to people who cheat.  But unfortunately, they haven’t been able to give me a  clear-cut answer, maybe there isn’t one.  I don’t know.

We spent a lot of time talking about the consequences if they get caught.   You really need to consider the worst-case scenario: Your partner finds out and is brokenhearted – Ask yourself, is it worth it?

You need to truly ask yourself why are you doing this, going behind their back and meeting up with someone else…To me, cheating is a choice…looking for attention, looking to find a new spark, instead of rediscovering it at home…maybe it isn’t this simple.  I admit, I do not know.

Many of my friends, acquaintances – have provided the following reasons for cheating, for stepping out of their marriage, relationship:

  • Boredom
  • Thrill of the unknown
  • She/he has changed
  • Feelings of neglect
  • Failure to communicate leads to less intimacy
  • Lack of emotional and relationship satisfaction
  • She/he nags too much
  • You are both leading parallel lives, doing things separately
  • Wanderlust – compelled to break from your daily routine
  • Passion has fizzled, need/want something new, different, exciting
  • She/he crave sexual “variety”
  • Ego needs a boost, need extra affirmation that you still got it…

Sex and love mean different things to many people which may lead them to cheat guilt free.  If someone experiences guilt, it is most likely not about the sex, but about the consequences…will the lover kiss and tell?  Will the partner find out?

Still….why do people cheat??

“We’re only monogamous because we realize that love and friendship are more important than getting laid,”

If I’d known you were cheating me,

I would have saved myself and set you free.

If I learned you weren’t the loving kind,

I would have saved some peace of mind.
My friends told me you would break my heart,

And never last, we would surely part.
There’s no smoke without fire,

Baby, baby you’re a liar.
People talk in this little town,

Rumors keep spreading all around.

And now word has it you’ve been foolin’ me,

I’m so blind that I cannot see.
My friends told me never to believe in you,

You never loved me you were never true

There’s no smoke without fire,

Baby, baby you’re a liar.
No there’s no smoke without fire.

Baby, baby you’re a liar.

You’re a liar

You’re a liar

You’re a liar

Baby you’re a liar.
There’s no light without a flame,

There’s no use in having you to blame.
No…There’s no smoke without fire.

Baby, baby you’re a liar.

You’re a liar…


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