Monthly Archives: November 2012

A Thanksgiving Message

As we celebrate Thanksgiving, let’s remember that the holiday’s name is a compound word – Thanks and Giving.   Let’s all try to find and carry out  new ways for enhancing the celebration of Thanksgiving and the entire holiday season ahead.

Despite obvious challenges, each of us has something to be thankful for – our lives, families, friendships, and work. While there is no perfection in life, I hope you consider the glass more than half full for most of us most of the time. Thanking those whom we love, admire, depend upon, and have positive relationships with is an important, but too infrequently practiced an activity.  Let’s try and practice saying, “Thank You” more than a few times in the next few weeks.   “God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say “thank you?” (William A. Ward).

Here are some Thanks-Giving Thoughts – practice, share them…

Share with those with less fortunate than you.  Consider the gift of one week’s grocery bill donated to a community food bank, domestic violence or homeless shelter, foster parent or elder services association as a gesture of appreciation for what we have, and what others do for the less fortunate.

Express your gratitude in word and deed to those who care for others as a profession or as volunteers. Compliment the good works of caregivers for our children and frail elders. Those caring individuals who clean the bottoms of babies and the bed-ridden, and help nurture and stimulate their minds, deserve the kindnesses of family members and neighbors all though the year, but especially at holiday time.

Give time to a worthy cause. Our volunteer time builds community and creates a great example for our youth.   Whether we choose to sing in a choir, read to a child, blind person, mentor a youth, collect coats for the homeless, or visit a lonely elder, our time is a priceless gift which appreciates in value.

Conserve energy resources by consuming less fuel, reusing, and recycling.  Our throw away culture is feeding our landfills with trash, and our air and water absorb the residue of pollutants. Preserving our environment is self-preservation, as well as a life-saving gift to wildlife, plant-life, and our children’s children.

Slow down.   Stop and smell the roses!  Whether behind the steering wheel or in conversation with others, speed is not a good thing.  Being in a perpetual hurry endangers our lives on the road, and cuts short our relationships with others. Give yourself a few extra minutes in transit to be a safe driver especially during the holidays and wintry weather…and listen a bit longer to the words in conversation with loved ones and co-workers.  Actively listen and show others that positive attention is a gift worth giving.

Put technology in its place. We live in a high-tech, low-touch culture, governed by the beeps, buzzes, and blinking lights of technology. As time is compressed, stress grows.  Immediate response raises expectations, reduces careful consideration, and makes us more prone to error. Take a breather from all the technology, and ask others to be considerate in public and private spaces by turning the “on” switch “off.”  We all need to rediscover that eye contact and voices are great ways to show we are focusing our attention on those who seek it.  Cell phone, e-mail should not keep our loved ones on hold.

Advocate with assertion, not aggression. Free speech is not an invitation to be offensive.  Responsible advocacy requires thoughtful purpose, practical solutions, and open conversation. Clear and consistent communication with allies and adversaries alike sets the stage for progress.  Let’s all try to express ourselves in a heart-felt way with composure and grace.

Health is a form of wealth.   So many people sadly take it for granted.  Making sure we eat right, exercise, and take time to rest and relax are the keys to clear thinking and long-term effectiveness.  Our bodies cannot support us unless our minds resolve to take care and be careful.  And if we are not healthy, we can’t care of others.

Take optimism pills every morning….the time-release kind!  🙂  Negativity is contagious. Those who believe they will make a difference can achieve their goals.  Pessimism is the mind’s way of giving up before the first step is taken. Those who want to make a change for the better in their lives, neighborhood, and the world around them, should stop whining and start winning –  and if you want a glass of wine afterwards, that is acceptable!  🙂

As we plan for the holiday season, we should recognize that there are neighbors, young and elder, whose weeks ahead are not brimming with joy. For whatever reason, in whatever circumstance, we well know that there are people in need who can be helped if we choose to do so.

To honor and remember a family member or neighbor who was there for you when you needed them most, please thank those who illuminate our paths, exemplify kindness, teach justice, and nurture our futures – what a fitting tribute to the legacy of our ancestors and what a positive example for our future.

Try to remember and focus – your work, the gifts you share, and the example you set is an inspiration to one or many….♥

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National Pursuit of Happiness Week

It’s already Day 5 of National Pursuit of Happiness Week.  Sad that we even need a full week to remind us to pursue and find what makes us happy.

If Hurricane Sandy did nothing but force us all to slow down and appreciate what we have, then some good came out of that weather insanity.  If you are feeling overwhelmed – slow down. When we slow down we breathe more deeply, which makes us feel better. Sounds simple enough. Are you taking time each day to celebrate the good and let go of the bad?  It seems we get so caught up in the day-to-day that we forget to take some time to be still. When we take time to be still we can appreciate what we have and that lifts our spirits.

As the Dalai Lama tells us in his book The Art of Happiness:

‘In the same way, a situation that you initially perceive as 100 percent negative may have some positive aspects to it. But I think that even if you have discovered a positive angle to a bad situation that alone is often not enough. You still need to reinforce that idea. So you may need to remind yourself of that positive angle many times, until gradually your feeling changes.’

Have you thought about it? Are you so busy going through the day-to-day that you’ve forgotten the big picture?  Or are you bored senseless and just going through the motions?

I used to be downright bashful unless I felt I was in safe company. And now I just try not to care – I giggle out loud, sometimes at inopportune times, I skip, I trip, fall, laugh and get back up.  I kiss my dog, whisper to him, walk and play around. Do people look at me and think I am nuts?  I am sure – sometimes.  But I no longer care.   I enjoy and need to have fun goofing around.  I can recall so many stupid moments, and giggle aloud.  Giggling reminds me and gives me permission to lighten-up and have some fun…Do you hold back the true you? Is there a playful person hiding under layers of fear? Has the essence of you been squelched out by life’s challenges and limitations?  Don’t let it.  Its been a struggle, but I no longer allow the old uptight person come out of me.  I have to strangle that person.

I hope you all go out today and laugh out loud… and go about your day feeling lighter and gigglier…♥

Came across this and thought I should share:

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness Week 3: The Pursuit of Happiness

Speaker: Trey Kelly Follow @treykelly
Date: October 29, 2012

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

But what is Life? What is Liberty? And what is Happiness?

Is it a good job? A house in the suburbs? A beautiful wife, 2.5 kids and a dog? Is it all the money you’ll ever need. Is it a fancy car?

Life is more than just living. Liberty is more than just being free. And there’s only one source of true happiness.

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Redefining the American Dream.


Fake People Annoy ME!

Some people just need a sympathetic pat…
On the head…
With a Hammer…
That is how I am feeling today…disliking people who are so self-absorbed that they have no idea what is going on around them, in front of them.  Sad.

One thing I’ve learned about myself is that I have a very low- to-no tolerance for bullshit and insincere people.

With people, I can’t stand facades. People tend to put up fronts because they want to be perceived a certain way, they want you to think highly of them, respect them, and maybe even admire them. Sometimes they build up facades because they’re just scared of being judged or hurt by you. They built up these fronts to represent themselves because deep down, they are flawed individuals in one way or another.

The thing is, I like people a lot more when they acknowledge their flaws, rather than hiding them. For me, when people open up to me, it’s wonderful. The friendships I have where people are perfectly candid and show me their true selves, exposing their feelings regardless of how vulnerable that makes them,  are the friendships I value most.  I appreciate genuine sincerity in people.  If you can acknowledge that flawed part of yourself you don’t like, it demonstrates a certain strength of character that is not evident when you mask yourself. It makes you more human to me, and helps me accept your flaws.

People are more beautiful when you accept them for what they really are. Flaws make us human, and struggling to overcome those flaws make us even more so. But one crucial step to growing as a person is to not lie to yourself. Sharing who you are without reservation with another person is as intimate as you can get, in my opinion.

I used to feel sorry for some people who felt the need to pretend.  Now seriously – step away.  So you posers out there who manipulate, try to say what you think others want to hear, please stay away from me.

I rather spend time with children who are sweetly oblivious and not caring how others perceive them.  They usually smile and think all is great – until some mean spirited person brings their flaws to their attention.

A child has no ego, no past or future. The child has no attachments, and because of this, they are able to express themselves fully, without any prejudices or preconceived ideas.  Ah the innocent, young and truly beautiful souls that exist should have no real enemies but time.

I despise the true hypocrite – the one who ceases to preceive his deception, the one who lies with sincerity.

Actions will always speak louder than words – and actions will always hurt more and lie louder than words.

In the words of Abraham Lincoln:  You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.  Fake people should remember these wise words!


On My Journey….

On my journey…

I remember my journey

The endless journey

My heart made

Towards hope

Toward love

Time stands still

My courage frozen

Not knowing if I should take a step forward

Or to remain still, very still

Waiting for strength to push me ahead

Silence

Truth beckons

Every step taken is a new beginning

Every new sight, a dream realized

On my journey

Forever hopeful…♥


A FINE FRENZY – ALMOST LOVER

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you’d want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you’d never ever forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you’d want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you’re gone and I’m haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do


Longing for Romance…

Sitting here at work, counting down the minutes to when I can go home.  I am supposed to go on a date – but have been wary lately of dating.  I tend to date very selfish men because of my very giving nature and I am tired of being anyone’s doormat.

I long for romance though.  I never intended this blog to be about dating, relationship problems or a living with cancer blog – but I guess all of those define me right now…so this is my space for venting, wishing, dreaming…about a life full of love, cancer free and just easy breezy carefree smiling.  A girl can dream… 🙂

Some people compartmentalize their cancer experience and not think about it again. That doesn’t work well for me these days. Like it or not, cancer is part of my life, so I feel the need to share it.
And having had cancer is not all bad. People who have been through serious illness don’t take much for granted.  I know – trust me.  I am grateful for every little second.  I forgive quickly, move forward quickly.

But in this world where everyone is in a rush, people don’t take the time for true old-fashioned romance.  I long for days of yesterdays where texting ILU didn’t replace sweet gestures.  I am looking for someone who understands that romance doesn’t end or start in the bedroom, or reserved for special anniversaries.

When I find a man who know s how to move me with his words, thoughts  then I will have Saturday nights filled with romance….like I already said a girl can dream…

Famous Love Letters: Ludwig von Beethoven:

My angel, my all, my very self

We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life –

If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of these.

My heart is full of so many things to say to you – ah – there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all –Cheer up – remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours.

Ah, wherever I am, there you are also –

Much as you love me – I love you more –

Oh God – so near! so far!

Is not our love truly a heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of heaven?

my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us –

I can live only wholly with you or not at all –

No one else can ever possess my heart – never – never –

Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves.

Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together –

Be calm – love me – today – yesterday – what tearful longings for you – you – you – my life – my all – farewell.

Oh continue to love me – never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

ever thine

ever mine

ever ours

Your faithful Ludwig

Famous Love Letters: Napoleon Bonaparte:

I wake filled with thoughts of you. Your portrait and the intoxicating evening which we spent yesterday have left my senses in turmoil.

Sweet incomparable Josephine, what a strange effect you have on my heart!

Yielding to the profound feelings which overwhelm me, I draw from your lips, from your heart a love which consumes me with fire?

Until then, mio dolce amor, a thousand kisses; but give me none in return, for they set my blood on fire.


Wine down Wednesday….

Wine is definitely my friend, solace this cold, snowy evening…

“Wine is bottled poetry.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

“One should always be drunk. That’s all that matters…But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.” – Charles Baudelaire

“There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall.” – Colette

“Wine is one of the most civilized things in the world and one of the most natural things of the world that has been brought to the greatest perfection, and it offers a greater range for enjoyment and appreciation than, possibly, any other purely sensory thing.” – Ernest Hemingway

“We all need something to help us unwind at the end of the day. You might have a glass of wine, or a joint, or a big delicious blob of heroin to silence your silly brainbox of its witterings but there has to be some form of punctuation, or life just seems utterly relentless.” – Russell Brand

Home is where the wine is…unwinding…

I’m a hybrid. I run on chocolate & wine!  ♥


Perfectionism

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren’t even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they’re doing it.” ~ Anne Lamott


T Positive

 

Trying to stay positive. Trying to tune out the negativity that envelops our mind  and teach ourselves to focus on what is positive   Believe. Hope.

 

 

 

 


Down but not over….

Wow!  What a few days it has been.  I still cry when I see acts of random kindness across the state.  I am totally in favor of volunteering, etc.,  and when I see people coming together and trying to help each other in any way, it definitely makes me warm and happy.  I am definitely proud that I live in a state and in a community that strives to support each other in the wake of Hurricane Sandy.

My parents and I were among the few on our block that had power this week.  We opened our home to family and had a sleep over – it was fun and heartwarming.   My neighbor decided to grill and gave away free food.   Prior to the storm hitting us Monday night, I made sure I checked in on the elderly neighbors ensuring they had some non-perishable food, candles.   Today we spent the day collecting clothes, any donations and busy making copies of photos for those who were not so fortunate.  I know a few of my high school friends who had homes down the shore, lost too much.

“We cannot permit that sorrow to replace the resilience that I know all New Jerseyans have” Governor Christie – so true!

I am sure I will continue to see good people make the biggest difference in other’s lives in small, random ways.  “I learned how to give not because I have many – but because I know exactly how it feels to have nothing…”

Always Jersey strong…♥


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