Monday Ramblings…

I survived a very manic Monday indeed…and in surviving, I came to the conclusion that I don’t want everybody to like me.  I don’t…because there’s no way to be real and have everybody like you.  When you’re true to yourself and do what you want, some people are bound to get pissed off.  I am sure you all have heard the expression, “If you try to please everybody, you please nobody”.  Well lesson learned yet again…the hard way.  When you’re trying to please other people – When you’re trying to make people like you – When you’re reacting to others – all you are accomplishing is not staying true to yourself.

Thing is: there’s no reason to want everybody to like you. Do what you want and let whatever happens happen. Some people will love you. Others will hate you.  And you know what?  That’s fine.  I want real interactions, real connections instead of trying to please everybody.  Because every time you don’t do what you want, every time you censor your inner being, a part of you dims inside.  Every time you doubt yourself and don’t do what your heart so desperately urges you to do, you become more numb. Desensitized. Lifeless. That magical twinkle in your eye dims and you settle.  Well – no more settling.  Yelling it now – NO MORE SETTLING!

Doing what you want doesn’t mean being a *insert rude expletive of choice*.

…because being mean, being obnoxious, being rude, being selfish – all those nasty things that might be confused with “doing what you want” – are just convenient misinterpretations.

Doing what you want in order to get approval isn’t really doing what you want. It’s buying into other people’s story. Same thing goes for trying to control other people. For trying to be superior.

“I don’t want everyone to like me” is vastly different to “I want everyone to not like me”.

Indifference and contentedness is vastly different to living in reaction, living for others.

This is about staying true to yourself.

It’s easy to see the “do what you want” as a selfish attitude but when you really do what you want, when you live from your deepest inner being, you’re tapping into and accessing the source of all compassion. When you are true to yourself and connect to your deepest being, you see the humanity in everybody and experience life itself, and express and share that with all around you.

Being Real is connecting to and expressing your deep desire to live.

Undiluted. Pure bliss. Expressed through true right action, true self expression.

No more censoring who you are.
No more reaction and approval seeking.
No more self doubt or anxiety.
No more fake communication.
No more living for others.

…just pure undiluted genuine authentically unapologetic real raw expression.

Do what you want and Be Real.

Stay true to yourself.  Always.

One thing I’ve learned about myself is that I have a very low- to-no tolerance for bullshit and insincere people.

I can’t stand facades. People tend to put up fronts because they want to be perceived a certain way, they want you to think highly of them, respect them, and maybe even admire them. Sometimes they build up facades because they’re just scared of being judged or hurt by you. They built up these fronts to represent themselves because deep down, they are flawed individuals in one way or another.

The thing is, I like people a lot more when they acknowledge their flaws, rather than hiding them. For me, when people open up to me, it’s wonderful. The friendships I have where people are perfectly candid and show me their true selves, exposing their feelings regardless of how vulnerable that makes them, are the friendships I value most.  I appreciate genuine sincerity in people.  If you can acknowledge that flawed part of yourself you don’t like, it demonstrates a certain strength of character that is not evident when you mask yourself. It makes you more human to me, and helps me accept your flaws.

People are more beautiful when you accept them for what they really are. Flaws make us human, and struggling to overcome those flaws make us even more so. But one crucial step to growing as a person is to not lie to yourself. Sharing who you are without reservation with another person is as intimate as you can get, in my opinion.

I used to feel sorry for some people who felt the need to pretend.  Now seriously – step away.  So you posers out there who manipulate, try to say what you think others want to hear, please stay away from me.

To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.  Love yourself for all the good that you see and accept your flaws and the fact that you are imperfect. This does not mean that you do not learn to change from your shortcomings; instead, you are being gentle and kind to yourself despite all your “flaws”.  Look in the mirror and fall in love with the reflection that is You.

I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it — I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me.  I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.

I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am OKAY!

“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” -African Proverb

Sometimes we judge ourselves pretty harshly. We blame ourselves for things we have absolutely no control over. We criticize, berate, and even disparage ourselves, treating ourselves far worse than we’d ever treat other people.

It’s just all too easy to hold ourselves to high standards, and then get frustrated if we fail to meet them. I know I have done this before, and, at the risk of sounding defeatist, I know I will do it at some point again.

I believe that in much the same we will inevitably have conflicts with other people, we will also go through times when we’re not kind and loving to ourselves.

Perhaps the key to silencing the enemy within is accepting that it is there–that we all possess both darkness and light within us–and then learning to create a higher ratio of self-affirming to self-diminishing thoughts. Maybe the goal shouldn’t be to always be positive, but to recognize when we start being self-critical so that we can shift our thoughts more quickly and effectively with each internal struggle.

In a perfect world, we would always know the perfect thing to do and say, and we’d instinctively always do those things. Maybe some people do. But I can’t speak for them, because I sometimes struggle.

What helps me is to focus on progress, not perfection–to forgive myself when I’ve gotten negative, and then start fresh – clean slate.

Today if you get down on yourself, remember: You’re doing the best you can, and you have the power to choose, right now, that your best is good enough.  And we don’t need  everybody to like us.  BE TRUE TO YOURSELF!

Undiluted, uncensored…Just T…♥

 

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About Teresita

I am a writer, a thinker, an introvert, work behind the scenes kind of person - I am of Puerto Rican blood, have an Italian soul, and a Berliner mind....just learning...♥ View all posts by Teresita

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