11 years and counting…

I have come to realize that destiny can hurt a person as much as it can bless them, and I find myself wondering why – out of all the people in all the world I could ever have loved – I had to fall in love with someone who was taken away from me.

One day you’re there and then all of a sudden, there’s less of you. And you wonder where that part went – if it’s living somewhere, outside of you, and you keep thinking maybe you’ll get it back. And then you realize…it’s just gone.

Many say it’s easier to burn than to build; many say it’s easier to hurt than to heal…But I say you lose when you give up what you love…And I’ve lived my life without you long enough.

I hold pieces of you – of him; I hold them so tight that they eventually become pieces of myself that I am still learning to grow from but never away from.  I hold onto them so tight that they eventually become the only pieces that can hold my shaky bones together. They become the only pieces that can keep this broken heart of mine held together…

Have you ever thought that if one thing hadn’t happened, a whole set of things never would have either?  Like dominoes in time, a single event kicked off an unstoppable series of changes that gained momentum and spun out of control, and nothing was ever the same again. Don’t ever doubt that a mere second can change your life forever.  It can.  It has.  Everything does really happen for a reason.

I’ve got no more illusions…I know I’ll see you again…

The days will always be brighter because he existed. The nights will always be darker because he’s gone. And no matter what anybody says about grief, and about time healing all wounds, the truth is, there are certain sorrows that never fade away until the heart stops beating and the last breath is taken.  ♥mm♥

I sit and breathe in the silence

I sit and breathe in the pain

Everything feels empty and hollow

Moments…

Sitting by myself.

Waiting…

Learning that it’s not luck to be able to fall in love again…it’s being ready…ready to remember the past, slowly moving forward into the future…

“I am not the happiest person. In fact, in the battle between joy and misery, I’d say that the latter often seems to prevail. I don’t like this, and every day I refuse, for the eighty millionth time, to put up with another minute of it. But the world does what it does, and I often find it disagreeable. After all these years, I’m kind of resigned to that. But I do have one thing on my side: I have enormous faith. And hope. I am not speaking of the kind you find in church or in the afterlife or in heaven or in the Saint James Bible or in the Hare Krishna’s that we all encounter changing flights in the airports of the world, I am speaking of a simple faith that says that one way or another, no matter how many times I stumble and stub my big toe, somehow life is going to work itself out.”- Elizabeth Wurtzel

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About Teresita

I am a writer, a thinker, an introvert, work behind the scenes kind of person - I am of Puerto Rican blood, have an Italian soul, and a Berliner mind....just learning...♥ View all posts by Teresita

One response to “11 years and counting…

  • Scott Mitchell

    I can so strongly relate to what you’ve written here. The part that drives me crazy is the moments that I think I’ve moved on and it all hits me again. It’s like an impossible battle. People say and I always used to agree with them, that someone new will come and you’ll forget that one, but I’ve learned that the true one may only come once in someone’s life. Well, maybe that’s our own sub-conscious decision though. Maybe a protection of our heart against allowing the potential pain occur again. I’m really rambling lol. Fact of the matter is, being in this situation, I can say no definite thing. I hope for a better tomorrow, but I keep learning that tomorrow is never better. What do I do? Take some second option that seems like the leftovers of their previous situation? I could and I may, but it feels equal to giving up. Uhhh..
    Hope you feel better and sorry for my blah blah. Hugs

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