After barely surviving a tumultuous last week, this past weekend was surprisingly nice and mellow. My whole world at times feels like it just stops, shuts down…but I will keep finding bursts of happiness in the smallest things.
I came across this quote and just loved it: “We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.” ~ Carlos Castaneda
So I need to keep being strong; finding strength wherever and whenever I can. “Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.” So I am trying…each and every day…to remain hopeful and strong. And I am trying not to care what others think of me; especially those that don’t even take the time to know me. Others do not live your life.
How great is that? Trust me, its not easy. Believe me, I have felt like wanting to give up, crawl into a hole and never come out – but it is the easy way out, to escape, rather than to face the reality of what I am going through. And although I may have been falling apart on the inside, I think I have done a fair job of keeping up a good front on the outside, but still being realistic, not looking through rose-colored glasses, either.
I felt myself backslide the last couple of weeks, and cried way too many times – but as someone said to me, I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. I need to feel what I am feeling and get it out of my system. And she was right, I do, and I did, this week, and am feeling much more optimistic and as though I am coming out of the clouds (ironically, it’s cloudy out today – boo! for my hair).
Ironically…how ironic…how ironical…yes it is a word. 😉