T’s Thursday Thoughts…

Tired.  My most recent Rx for insomnia not working…*sigh*  I am so tired that I have realized what makes me the most exhausted is having to repeat myself over and over again to some people.  I will no longer feel the need to explain myself.  If a person doesn’t understand me, its on them.  If a person doesn’t like what I say, its on them.  I have adopted the new stance:  No longer justifying my feelings, my actions.  Only in a court of law, will I feel the need to justify.

We often feel the need to justify our feelings, like everyone outside is watching and forming judgments.  I guess its because the truth is they often are.  But I have learned that we have choices.  We can either explain ourselves to ensure how we’d like to be seen, even though in reality, we can’t actually control that or we can just focus on feeling and learning from our emotions, since that’s something within our power.  So I opt for the latter.

Instead of pretending you feel fine—and explaining why it may seem otherwise—let yourself feel your emotions to so you can discover what you need to do to move past them. Instead of explaining why you don’t seem perfect, let yourself be human without apologies.

Sometimes it makes sense to explain yourself—when someone misunderstands, or when you hurt someone accidentally. But most often the only person who needs an explanation is you so you can accept and work through whatever is on your mind.

Today if you’re tempted to justify your emotions, remember: You can’t control what other people think. But if you can accept yourself in this moment, you may discover what you need to do to feel better–instead of just trying to look better.  Yup.

I am sure we have all heard the saying, “Never let someone be your priority, while you remain their option” – but how many actually follow this sage advice?!  I know I have not in the past…but I am working on it…

It’s no secret I have a weakness — I see people better than they really are or better than they see themselves. My expectations and trust of people always gets the best of me because I place them high on top of the totem pole instead of leaving room for their faults and issues so, when they do something that goes against what I think of them; I always, always end up being disappointed and in tears. When getting involved in a romantic relationship this kind of thinking has always lead to my own personal heartbreak because I chose to make a man my priority when he only considers me his option.

I am no longer choosing to be this way, at this point and stage in my life I am choosing to be selfish in life and in love. I’m choosing to look out for me and no one else.   I should feel a little jaded about life and love, but I don’t.

In 2012, my year of possibilities, I am choosing to be my own priority and not anyone’s option. I have learned that being an option is not a relationship; you are just filling a void for that particular time and place. You probably see each other when it is convenient for the other person, without them considering if it works for you. Around to stroke their ego.  Being an option means getting that last minute call when all their other plans have fallen through and you are their last resort.   When you are priority, you know that you are a priority. Being a priority is being in a relationship; it does not need to be spoken where and with whom you are spending your free time, you both are making time for each other according to both schedules and are making plans in advance. Being a priority is like being a rare one of a kind precious item that someone will whole-heartedly cherish and will always be the featured showcase, their pride and joy. Being a priority is not just about the sex; it’s about building a foundation of friendship that blossoms into a solid and firm relationship. It means going on dates, having good conversations, meeting the important people in his/ her life. If you are a priority and it’s important to him/her then they should make an effort to incorporate you into their life and vice versa. Get the picture? If you are being treated like an option instead of a priority, all I ask is that you have the courage to walk away…this brings me back to not having to explain myself anymore, too.

Life is too short to play with people’s emotions, that’s how people get hurt …  start being accountable for your actions…

Life is about trust, love and self-respect…but it must start with yourself…I am learning how to put myself first and to take care of myself – FAST

The F is fair and that means being fair to myself by not engaging when I don’t feel like it, not looking for approval, and setting boundaries (something was not demonstrated to me by my family when I was growing up).

The A is for no apologies. I don’t have to explain myself. This is a big one!! I have spent a VERY big portion of my life justifying my behavior to others.  I don’t owe anyone an explanation.

The S is for sticking to my values. It serves no purpose to get caught up in something I wouldn’t normally do. I deserve respect and I have to keep to my own values for myself and not get caught up into wanting to be accepted and giving in to other people’s beliefs.  I am no longer in HS!

The T is for truthfulness. There’s no reason to lie. I don’t have to participate in a discussion that I don’t want to be led into. It’s okay to just say, “I don’t want to talk right now.” AND let it go. I’m not responsible for the feelings of others.

It’s all about T…today, tomorrow…♥


About Teresita

I am a writer, a thinker, an introvert, work behind the scenes kind of person - I am of Puerto Rican blood, have an Italian soul, and a Berliner mind....just learning...♥ View all posts by Teresita

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