Just finished watching the movie, “Swinging with the Finkels”‘…and parts of it resonated with me…
“The only real obstacle to man’s inability to commit is man himself.”
“It’s not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.”
For people who always think the grass is greener on the other side…If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is…now!
With so many advancements in technology, our lifestyles have been completely transformed. So many choices. Sometimes when we have so many choices we become restless. We tend to not settle on what we already have or stay satisfied with what we’ve got because we’ll always be wondering about the next big thing. It’s called the grass is always greener syndrome. So many of us tend to think someone else is having a better time elsewhere; we can make ourselves miserable by thinking about the unknown in our endless quest to find happiness. We lie awake at night torturing ourselves over what we should do next, wondering if we are missing something big. We feel we are wasting our lives if we are not doing something more important.
There’s also this sense of urgency, this sense of time and pressure we place on ourselves. Sometimes we feel like we are running out of time and should constantly be doing something greater othwerwise we consider ourselves failures. Then there’s the whole idea that we are somehow special and meant for grandeur; that somehow our lives were destined to be thrilling, adventurous, and hugely successful.
And when we wake up and just realize that our lives are not turning out the way we expected or dreamt…well we find ourselves in crisis, don’t we?! Perhaps a mid-life crisis. We get depressed; we want more; we get that grass is greener syndrome. We become unhappy, disatisfied, and spend all of our time and energy focusing on what we don’t have rather than counting our blessings. Trust me, I have been there – earlier than I expected in life too; most likely brought about from my illness and having to accept my limited opportunities early on. And I have learned that one is truly not happier on the other side of the grass…the grass is just as green. Focusing on what we don’t have is a definite recipe for disaster. It leads to a miserable, lonely existence and causes us to forget what is most important…the present – the here and now.
As John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans”. So very true!
With so many choices and opportunities available to us, sometimes we tend to ignore what’s actually happening around us in the present. We forget the whole how to be happy; we miss the point of what happiness really means – acceptance, peace of mind, forgiveness, being mindful.
Don’t get me wrong, opportunities are great, sometimes wish I had more, but there comes a point where we need to accept our choices, decisions and our lives. Embrace all that comes along. Definitely go out and see the world and try to enjoy all that life has to offer. But whenever you feel yourself losing focus and wondering what if, bring yourself back to the present, Enjoy the moments today! Happiness to me is no longer about where I live, or the material things I have; it really is simply sometimes about smelling the roses, taking a deep breath, feeling your heartbeat…
All we have is the right now, So let’s forget the past; try not to worry too much about the future; truly find something in each new day that makes us smile even if for a moment. Stop thinking the grass is greener – because it truly isn’t…and without the rain, it will still turn brown….embracing ME!