The past two days have been heavenly and I am one lucky girl!  A friend from CA has been back East for a work convention and I get to spend some quality time with them.  Yay!   I grew up and have lived most of my life in New Jersey….sadly, many of my friends and family have moved away.  I have slowly watched great friends disappear for new jobs, to start a family, attend business school, travel the world, etc….Obviously friendships can continue over the phone, through email, FB so the friend is not lost; but a hiking partner, a dining companion, and someone to just sit and laugh with about life on a lazy Saturday is lost.

I have met and continue to meet plenty of acquaintances but have a difficult time crossing the threshold to real friendship.  I have tried  volunteer work, work friends, and boyfriend’s friends but discovered they do not take the place of those really good friends that you tell everything to and always trust for advice on dating, fashion, family, career and well, everything!  One of the trickiest things is finding others out there that are also looking for new, solid friendships and not just collecting acquaintances.

I know that losing so many friends who have died way too young, has made me afraid and hesitant to fully embrace letting strangers in…but I am trying.  For a long time, I thought it would be easier, better not to invest in people – they leave, they die. Scary.  But now I have learned that the alternative is so much worse.   I had this beautiful picture of what my life would be like and now its gone.  It feels like it was stolen from me and for a long time I believed that there was nothing I can do about it.  There are so many emotions inside of me. I want to let people back in – I want to find a hiking friend again.  I want to meet someone, fall in love again with every ounce of my being…

I envision this beautiful life…where tomorrow…I am surrounded by all my lost friends, lovers, family…♥

I wonder if I lock up my friend and throw away the key, how long could I get away with it?!

Just wondering, reminiscing, hoping, smiling…


About Teresita

I am a writer, a thinker, an introvert, work behind the scenes kind of person - I am of Puerto Rican blood, have an Italian soul, and a Berliner mind....just learning...♥ View all posts by Teresita

One response to “Friends…

  • Victor

    Just know that you have some friends that will always be there for you in the your best of times, and worst of times. That will always care about you and love you forever.

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