Life…everyday life provides a lesson…makes me think…mmt…
I have learned that life is constantly testing us for our level of commitment, and that life’s greatest rewards are reserved for those who demonstrate a never ending commitment to push forward even when times are tough…
I am not sure who said this first, but I firmly believe that sometimes you have to die a little on the inside first in order to be reborn and rise again as a stronger, smarter version of yourself….I know, because I feel that I am getting there myself.
My Mom was admitted to the hospital last night and trying to reach out to immediate family proves to be so disheartening – they are so non-responsive and so quick to judge. I pray that they come around and actually care what happens to her, to me, to others. Life is way too short – I am sad that so many in my own family have not grasped this yet. They hold grudges; they ignore the goodness in others.
Nobody gets through life without losing someone they love, someone they need, or something they thought was meant to be. But it is these losses that make us stronger and eventually move us toward future opportunities for growth and happiness…if we pay attention.
Over the past years I have dealt with several hardships, including the sudden death of my only brother, the death of my father, the loss of my heart and a few best friends to terrorism on 9/11, betrayal from a close childhood friend, and an unexpected employment layoff. These experiences were brutal. Each of them, naturally, knocked me down and off course for periods of time. But when my time of mourning was over in each individual circumstance, I like to think I moved forward, evenutally, stronger, and with a greater understanding and respect for life….and a respect for myself…I got lost somewhere back there, but no more.
Times like this only reinforce the lessons I have learned along the way…
I am NOT what happened to me in the past…No matter how chaotic the past has been, the future is a clean, fresh, wide open slate. I am not my past failures. I am not how others have at one time treated me. I am only who I think I am right now in this moment. I am only what I do right now in this moment.
I try every day to focus on what I have, not on what I don’t have. The important thing is simply to find one POSITIVE thought that inspires and helps you move forward. Hold on to it strongly, and focus on it. You may feel like you don’t have much or anything at all, but for me, I know I have my mind to inspire me and my writing. And I have realized that’s really all I needed to start moving forward again.
I have learned…
That struggling with problems is a natural part of growing up – part of living is experiencing unexpected troubles in life. People lose jobs, get sick, and sometimes die.
That it really is okay to fall apart for a while – no longer pretend to be strong all of the time, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. I no longer concern myself with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears and to pig out on chocolate. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again. And trust me, a smile doesn’t always mean I am happy; sometimes it simply means that I know I will get through the day, and that I am strong enough to face any problems.
That life is fragile, sudden, and shorter than it often seems. Life and time are not promises. There may not be a tomorrow – not for everyone. Sad reality is that right now, somewhere, someone is planning something for tomorrow without realizing they’re going to die today. This is sad but true. So spend your time wisely today and pause long enough to appreciate it – even this oppressive heat and humidity today. Every moment we get is a gift. Don’t waste time by dwelling on unhappy things. Spend it on things that move you in the direction you want to go. I know I am.
That at times no matter how hard I try, I will fail sometimes.
That I have the capacity to create my own happiness; to reinvent my life.
That everything that happens is a life lesson.
That I should view every challenge as an educational assignment.
That feelings, people, things change, and time keeps rolling and the sun always rises the next day; The bad news: nothing is permanent. The good news: nothing is permanent.
That giving up and moving on are two very different things.
That distancing ourselves from negative people is essential.
That perfect relationships, people don’t exist.
That we all must love ourselves. – One of the most painful things in life is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, missing them too much, and forgetting that you are special too.
That we shouldn’t allow others to make decisions for us.
That holding onto grudges, resentment only hurts us; forgive people and move on, even if they never ask for your forgiveness. Don’t do it for them – do it for youself. Grudges are a waste of happiness.
That you’re not alone. Everyone has problems.
That there is still so much to be thankful for. Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of brave people who are overcoming it. Sometimes you have to forget what’s gone, appreciate what still remains, and look forward to what’s coming next. Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.” Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective. You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night. You didn’t go to sleep outside. You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning. You hardly broke a sweat today. You didn’t spend a minute in fear. You have access to clean drinking water. You have access to medical care. You have access to the Internet. You can read. Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.
That honesty is still the best policy! It’s better to be hurt by the truth, than comforted by a lie. – You must see things how they are instead of how you hoped, wished, or expected them to be. It’s always better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie.
That there will always be people who dislike you. – You can’t be everything to everyone. No matter what you do, there will always be someone who thinks differently. So concentrate on doing what you know in your heart is right. What others think and say about you isn’t all that important. What is important is how you feel about yourself.
That you are better off without some people you thought you needed. – The sad truth is, there are some people who will only be there for you as long as you have something they need. When you no longer serve a purpose to them, they will leave.
That you can’t control everything that happens to you – only how you react to things.
That you are not trapped; you just need to re-learn a few things and refocus.
That most things in life are two-sided. – There is good reason why we can’t expect to feel pleasure without ever feeling pain; joy without ever feeling sorrow; confident without ever feeling fear; calm without ever feeling restless; hope without ever feeling despair: There is no such
thing as a one-sided coin in life, with which one can buy a pain-free, trouble-free existence. If you find one, please send my way.
That you always have a choice; there are always at least two options. If you can’t physically change something, you can change the way you think about it.
That sometimes you really need to let others in when you’re in a dark place. That it is okay to admit you need someone, some help, sometimes.
That asking negative questions, usually only results in getting negative answers. There are no positive answers to, “Why me?” “Why didn’t I?” “What if?” etc. So stop and swap them for questions that push you in a positive direction. For instance, “What have I learned from this experience?” “What can I do right now to move forward?”
And the most important lesson I have learned is that life was never meant to be easy, it is however meant to be lived the best way possible…as my pal George Bernard Shaw wrote, “Life is not meant to be easy, my child; but take courage — it can be delightful.” So let’s all live life to fullest, pray for those who haven’t learned and for those who no longer can…mm♥