Sending a question out into the universe…why does an “ex” contact me every three months???

I wonder how many people out there in the world have had to deal with an ex contacting them after months of no contact…

I met this man when I was first separated, going through a messy divorce, unemployed, and we began to casually date for a few months – we didn’t meet each other’s friends, nor family.   We didn’t chat on the phone every night.  I thought it was all on me that we didn’t progress into something more stable or serious.   For one, I am not one for talking on the phone much.  I was going through a divorce and looking for work – so I thought I had too much going on to really include someone in my life.  We decided we were both looking for different things and went our merry way.  At least that is what I thought.  After the first time we decided to no longer date, he reached out to me after two months, then we would go out for a drink and then after a day, I would remember why we stopped seeing each other.  This behavior went on for a year.  I thought it was me being hard on him for not giving him a chance but then I realized it was really him who was so selfish and self-absorbed, and needed some kind of reaffirmation that I was still thinking of him after a couple of months.  So after one particularly frustrating time, I blocked him from calling and texting me.  Deleted him from Facebook.  We had no real reason to stay connected – no mutual friends, no familiar haunts.  But since a block on a cell only last a few months (who knew?!), a text from him came through to me yet again, and I foolishly agreed to meet up since he wanted my opinion on a math lesson he was planning for a Parent’s Night.  After meeting for drinks, he called me almost everyday for a week and wanted to get together and on the dates he suggested, I was not available.  So he thought I was blowing him off and I thought he was being selfish.  Yes.  This has been our cycle.  I have no real desire to date him.  I don’t dislike him so I thought we could be strictly friends.  But when he doesn’t get his way, I have to deal with a barrage of insults that range from my being incapable of being in a relationship,  to committing, not being a good friend, then he contradicted himself once and said I was too needy.  I don’t know anymore what he wants, or expects from me.  Every time I ask, I hear only silence and the echo of my words.  I am content in not speaking to him.  But for some reason he doesn’t let me fully go.  We chatted a bit for the holidays.  Then his birthday in January.  Then nothing.  March comes around, my birthday passes, nothing.  And I am okay with this.  Then yesterday of all days, I get a text from him, wanting to know what’s new, he is thinking of me, etc.  I chose to ignore.  But no, he wouldn’t let it go – this morning yet another text – this one more abrasive, “Ummm…silence from you is daunting”…seriously…I chose not to ignore.  Silly me!  I politely (I swear, we can be polite via text), ask him to stop this 2/3 check in of his, inane behavior and leave me alone…but my wish was not granted, he sent me another text just recently but I am willfully ignoring.  Childish?  Perhaps.  I just truly do not want to deal with any unnecessary drama.

If anyone out there has any advice, please send my way.  I am tired of this going back and forth.  This is my year to be true to myself and I am finding it hard to stay nice sometimes to people like him who just don’t get the message and stay away.

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About Teresita

I am a writer, a thinker, an introvert, work behind the scenes kind of person - I am of Puerto Rican blood, have an Italian soul, and a Berliner mind....just learning...♥ View all posts by Teresita

3 responses to “Sending a question out into the universe…why does an “ex” contact me every three months???

  • Scott Mitchell

    Well, you already know there is no compatibility and that he is annoying. Probably best to block him permanently 🙂
    From what I read on your blog, you’re an interesting, thoughtful, and smart woman. Probably beautiful too. You can have someone compatible and don’t need strange distractions 🙂

  • Victor

    I completely agree with Scott on everything. Especially the part about you being, smart, thoughtful, interesting. He forgot to say caring, loving, and without question, the most beautiful woman on the planet earth.

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