He loves me, he loves me not…

I wish all people could love as unconditionally like my Chili dog.  Life would be so much simpler….*sigh*

He loves me… he loves me not… he loves me… he loves me not… he loves me….ever play this love game, where the daisy is predicting a romantic story?  I bet if you never played you at least heard of it.   Ah if the petals really did hold the answers…Life would be so simple if we could play this game when we are not sure the person of interest answers the love request.  I pluck the white  petals, one by one from the daisy.  After each other I drop them on the ground.  At game’s end, the last petal tells it all. Is the affectionate love for the desired person returned?  *sigh*

I am putting a new a twist to this flower picking flower love game…instead of chanting, “He loves me, he loves me not,” I am going to recite: “He loves me a little, a lot, passionately, madly, not at all.”

I don’t think love was meant to be thought of  as in absolutes of total love or utter rejection, but rather in nuances and a range of possibilities.  I know most of us are groomed and programmed to seek happy endings and closure but I am more comfortable today, this moment, to live with some emotional subtleties and ambiguity.   So many of us grow up thinking about love in black and white, but as adults, with some cracks to the heart, we learn that love is inscrutably gray.

So the flower metaphor takes on new meaning…therefore I like the new chant.   God knows we’ve lived long enough to question some of the more tenacious love clichés.  Still, some of them persist, like the idea that finding enduring happiness is possible with a soul mate or perfect partner, if only we look hard enough and consider the right variables.  Fortunately I no longer believe there is just one person out there for me.  So letting go of a lot of other cliches.

So I will remain in the gray zone — the intangible, emotional, irrational —  To use a hackneyed but true cliche, it’s not the destination that counts but the journey.  The emotional integrity of a relationship can lie in the experience of it alone and not necessarily in its outcome or ultimate resolution.  In other words, I am working on understanding and accepting that a relationship might not necessarily go anywhere in particular — no closure, no marriage — but that it still might be an essential and necessary experience of love and of my life, and my journey these days…”He loves me a little, a lot, passionately, madly, not at all.” ♥

“He loves me a little, a lot, passionately, madly, not at all.”


About Teresita

I am a writer, a thinker, an introvert, work behind the scenes kind of person - I am of Puerto Rican blood, have an Italian soul, and a Berliner mind....just learning...♥ View all posts by Teresita

3 responses to “He loves me, he loves me not…

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