I feel like I am waiting for something that isn’t going to happen. I believe that we are born to wonder, look for joy, to hope, to love, to marvel at the mystery of existence, to be ravished by beauty of the world, to seek the truth and meaning, to acquire wisdom, and by our treatment of others to brighten the corner where we are. Most of us long for love and relationships, and healing and hope. We all want to believe that love is this magical thing that fixes our problems and makes things perfect. We look for the love that we see in movies and fall for all of Hollywood’s lies. But the truth is, love will never be like that. Love is something you have to work at and fight for. It’s not always pretty and it’s definitely not magic, because not even love can keep two people together if they don’t try. And sometimes, real love is lost to us by death.
People say that it’s the bad memories that cause the most pain, but actually, I feel that it’s the good ones that drive you insane and allow you to continually compare. The only reason why people hold on to memories so tightly is because memories are the only things that don’t change when everyone else does. I know I am guilty of this. Memories ground me….almost as much as they chain me.
If someone wants me in their life, they should put me there, allow me into their life. I will no longer fight for a spot. I am not someone’s back up plan and definitely no longer settling for second place nor choice.
There is a difference between love and like, wrong and right. Never run if you are not ready to step. And never forgive if you are not ready to forget.
I am still learning that there’s a story behind every person. There’s a reason why they are the way they are. They aren’t just like that because they want to be. Something in the past created them, and sometimes it’s impossible to fix them. Trust me I have learned this the hard way….even about myself. Honestly, I don’t need someone that sees what’s good about me. I need someone that sees the bad, and still wants me.
I have learned and need to remind myself that people we meet are not perfect. I am not either. And in love relationships, two people will never be perfect. But if another person can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if they admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto them and give them the most you can. They may not quote poetry, may not think about you every moment, but they will give you a part of themselves that they know you could break. Don’t hurt them, don’t change them, and don’t expect more than they can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when they make you happy, yell when they make you mad, and miss them when they are not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect people just don’t exist, but there is always one person that is perfect for you.
That is what I am holding out for…again…in this continual journey of mine…♥