Writing about nothing…and moving beyond inertia…

Spoke to a new friend today, and…they suggested I write about nothing…since I couldn’t think of what to write.  But as he was saying this, all I could focus on was his voice…steady, stern, strong… My thoughts were fluctuating between his being guarded, controlled…but then he got around to talking about something he felt passionate about, and he said some very thought provoking things.  Very inspiring.  So when asked why I didn’t do anything the past two days – not even write – I admitted to feeling drained, to being blank.

Tangents…fears…I gave the question more thought…

Why I didn’t write, why I don’t look for a more challenging job, etc.  I honestly don’t think its fear that stops me from doing the brave and true things in my daily life.   I think its more about avoidance. I need to feel comfortable, so I tend to avoid things that will evoke fear and other disquieting emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run, but it will never make you feel less afraid.   I find that for me and probably, most of us, there’s enough struggle just living a regular life.  Commuting, dealing with delays, loud people, crazy weather patterns, sick dog, going grocery shopping, taking out the garbage….all so tiresome at times.   Who has the energy to go forth and battle dragons?   Even if it is the Year of the Dragon (Gong Xi Fa Cai =Happy New Year – Year of the Dragon).  But then this brought me to yet another conversation I had with another friend today, we’re also powerfully drawn to the idea of living a life full of passion. I wonder sometimes how many of us are truly aware of the abyss of meaninglessness that can so easily pervade our lives. You know – like when out of the corner of your mind’s eye you catch a glimpse of the idea that you’re born, you work, you have a few laughs, and then you die, and what was it all for?  Now how or when does IQ/intelligence, factor in?  Here and now.  I believe that the thinking person, trying to live their life to the fullest, and always trying to better and enrich their lives, they are the ones who hunger for meaning.   They sense that achieving a fuller is sometimes based on a struggle to make life better.  Appreciation factors in.  So part of us hungers for a sense of mission, part of us fears the cost.  Usually it’s the fear part of us that wins.  An analogy from someone who doesn’t drive is not only ironic, but still holds true:  Every day life is all about being behind the wheel, in the driver’s seat. We live, we laugh, we breathe, we exhale, we take things as they come. And that’s okay.  Still can’t allow fear to keep us from doing something that tugs at our heartstrings.  When life is still, quiet and free from distractions…if there is a slight nagging feeling that haunts you, well maybe we shouldn’t ignore it.  My philosophy, we have one life, we only get to live it once…so its our responsibility to make the most out of it.  I am sure you have heard the saying “This life is not a dress rehearsal”…well sometimes all it takes is a simple conversation with someone…someone who gives us a compliment, encouraging word, shares an inspirational story, colors the humor for us in a stressful situation, to allow us to see things in a new way…so here I am once again…writing.  Moving beyond my own inertia and fears and not being a bystander or passenger in my own life…only when walking or in a car….

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About Teresita

I am a writer, a thinker, an introvert, work behind the scenes kind of person - I am of Puerto Rican blood, have an Italian soul, and a Berliner mind....just learning...♥ View all posts by Teresita

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