The Edge of Forever

It’s my Hallmark’s Signed, Sealed Delivered marathon Saturday!  Just finished watching episode 5: The Edge of Forever.  As a mother’s last wish is to unite her daughters after her death is realized by words in a letter.  Part of the letter is read aloud: “A treasure waits for you to find, but only if you leave behind whatever each has in her heart that kept two sisters so long apart.”

Story of love, family, forgiveness, respect and moving on …  and the power of heartfelt words.

The final lines of the letter implore the two sisters to disperse their mother’s ashes together; to take the hike they never got to and find the edge of forever. As the sisters walk through the forest they come upon a breathtaking clearing where mountains rise above the valley. As the sisters open the urn and prepare to disperse the ashes, they realize they should say a prayer. Shane looks to Oliver, saying as a man of faith he would be the perfect person to deliver a final prayer. As the two sisters join hands and disperse their mother’s ashes, Oliver speaks:

“Whenever I have sorrow, Whenever clouds arise, when songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies, I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free; His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me. His eye is on the sparrow and I know… He watches me.”

What beautiful words … finding hope and comfort with faith in God in any given situation … yes, we must keep doing so.  Timing is everything.  Trying to remember that God walks with me … with grace in my step and hope in my heart.


Yes … Jealous of the Angels

Three of my heroes are in Heaven … missing them like crazy.   I heard this song and more truer words have not been spoken ….

“In a world where heroes come and go
Well God just took the only one I know … ”

 

I didn’t know today would be our last
Or that I’d have to say goodbye to you so fast
I’m so numb, I can’t feel anymore
Prayin’ you’d just walk back through that door
And tell me that I was only dreamin’
You’re not really gone as long as I believe

There will be another angel
Around the throne tonight
Your love lives on inside of me,
And I will hold on tight
It’s not my place to question,
Only God knows why
I’m just jealous of the angels
Around the throne tonight

You always made my troubles feel so small
And you were always there to catch me when I’d fall
In a world where heroes come and go
Well God just took the only one I know
So I’ll hold you as close as I can
Longing for the day, when I see your face again
But until then

God must need another angel
Around the throne tonight
Your love lives on inside of me
And I will hold on tight
It’s not my place to question
Only God knows why
I’m just jealous of the angels
Around the throne tonight

Singin’ hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
I’m just jealous of the angels
Around the throne
Tonight


Frozen With Fear …

I just learned that I have a new phobia – as if I wasn’t a mess enough as is: Pagophobia is an intense, irrational fear of ice and frost. I am irrationally afraid of slipping on ice and breaking something – especially my right arm and hand.  I can’t afford to break it again – it just will never heal.  After three years of being bit by a car, and over of year of mending, rehabilitation, I still only have 70% mobility in my right, used to-be dominant arm.

Wow!  The total number of days between Monday, January 14th, 2013 and Thursday, January 28th, 2016 is 1,109 days.  This is equal to 3 years and 14 days.  I don’t want to lose anymore time, days to being afraid.

I am grateful that I am not completely paralyzed by my fears of falling.  I still manage to get outside, but I get so anxious, uncomfortable, slightly nauseous; I start perspiring, breathing heavier, walk slower …

I have learned that some people with this phobia have it severe.  They refuse to leave their house when ice or frost is outside.  Heard of a person who was so severely phobic that they couldn’t look at ice cubes or ice cream, buy frozen food, venture out in the snow or cope with ice crunch sounds like egg shells and crisps.

pagophobia

Lucky for me,  I still enjoy ice cream, and love ice even in my coffee.   I am grateful for these small pleasures and indulgences.  Life truly is too short to worry about falling … come spring time.

As if I didn’t have enough issues – mentally, emotionally and physically … moving forward … albeit slowly until spring time …with grace in my step and hope in my heart!


Come To Me …

 

Anyone who follows my blog, knows I love the Hallmark channel,  and I get lost in words and music.  I believe there is a movie, a song, a book to ignite our very soul, for every feeling we have.  I heard this song very faintly in the movie “Hello, It’s Me” on Hallmark today.

This song spoke to me today, exactly when I needed it.  As it resonated with me, there’s no doubt that this song will resonate with others, as well. We all must remain hopeful and keep faith that things will change, we have to believe.  I believe God will carry me and allow me to keep moving forward.  God can change a life, like mine, from empty and broken, to a more complete purposeful and fulfilling life. He doesn’t promise a life free from problems or disappointments but that in the middle of it all, He will carry us through…. for me, with grace in my step, hope in my heart.

 

 

Come to me
All you broken and heavy hearted.
Come to me
All you worried and weary souls.
Come to me
All you overworked and underpaid.
And I will give
I will give
I will give you rest
Come to me
All you widows and outcasts
Come to me
All you betrayed and fatherless
And I will give
I will give
I will give you rest
My oak is easy
And I’m making my
You will find rest
For your soul
My oak is easy
And I’m making my
You will find rest for your soul
And I will give
I will give
I will give you rest …


I’d Be Lying…

Who knew while flipping channels, I would hear a beautiful voice singing with words that ring so true….

ABC’s the Bachelor brought me to this song …

 

 

Thank you to Bachelor ABC for introducing me to “I’d be lyin'” by Lucy Angel Band!

 

 

 


Forever love …

Two great Hallmark movies, one great song …

“Forever Love”

The first time I laid my eyes on you I knew.
We’d spend this life side by side.
I still feel the same though you’re so far away.
I swear that you’ll always be my.

Forever love.
I promise you.
Someday we’ll be together.
Forever love.
I won’t give up.
No matter what.
I’ll be waiting for you.
Forever love.

Minutes and hours and years may go by.
But my heart knows nothing of time.
So don’t cry, just keep me right there.
In your dreams.
And hold on to these words of mine.

Forever love.
I promise you.
Someday we’ll be together.
Forever love.
I won’t give up.
No matter what.
I’ll be waiting for you.
Forever love.

Love is the road to our destiny.
Nothing can change what is meant to be.

Forever love.
I promise you.
Someday we’ll be together.
Forever love.
I won’t give up.
No matter what.
I’ll be waiting for you.
Forever love.


Life … As we know it ….

Being lazy, yet again this morning, watching the movie, “Life As We Know It”.   And although not the best movie, not the biggest fan of the main actors, I realized that this movie kinda sums up life … it can change in the blink of an eye.

It shows us loss, love, change, adapting, compromise, forgiveness, hope, laughter … yes … life as we know it!

When the character, Eric Messer says: “Just because you accept help from someone, doesn’t mean you have failed. It just means you’re not in it alone” – it strangely gives me hope.

 

 


It Is What It Is

It is what it is
I was only looking for a shortcut home
But it’s complicated
So complicated
Somewhere in this city is a road I know
Where we could make it
But maybe there’s no making it now
Too long we’ve been denying
Now we’re both tired of trying
We hit a wall and we can’t get over it
Nothing to relive
It’s water under the bridge
You said it, I get it
I guess it is what it is
I was only trying to bury the pain
But I made you cry and I can’t stop the crying
Was only trying to save me
But I lost you again
Now there’s only lying
Wish I could say it’s only me
Too long we’ve been denying
Now we’re both tired of trying
We hit a wall and we can’t get over it
Nothing to relive
It’s water under the bridge
You said it, I get it
I guess it is what it I
Here it comes ready or not
We both found out it’s not how we thought
That it would be, how it would be
If the time could turn us around
What once was lost may be found
For you and me, for you and me
Too long we’ve been denying
Now we’re both tired of trying
We hit a wall and we can’t get over it
Nothing to relive
It’s water under the bridge
You said it, I get it
I guess it is what it is
I was only looking for a shortcut home
But it’s complicated
So complicated….


Year of loss and forgiveness …

With the new year fast approaching, I have been thinking a lot about the past 12 months … the crushes I had, the dates I went on, the friendships I lost, the friendships I made.  There is one friendship I will miss for a bit longer – one I don’t understand why it ended.  This particular friend just started to ignore me one day and it continued even when I tried to ask her why – if I somehow offended her, was she going through something and just needed to be left alone.  I never heard back.  Ironically, she helped me realize my worth the past couple of years and not being a doormat to so many others.   I will always be in her debt for the kindness she showed me when I felt unworthy.  I recently unfriended her from social media.  Having that link there had become a reminder of the failure between us, and of how painful the situation had become. And although part of me will always wonder where she is and how she is doing, removing that connection has helped me move on.   I know I must have failed her in someway but I can’t beat myself up anymore.  I don’t regret trying to find the cause of the breakdown of our friendship nor do I regret once considering her my close friend.

One of the things that bothered me most was the silence; not only my former friend’s silence towards me, but also the fact that I felt that I couldn’t speak of what had happened between us to anyone else.  I felt stupid.  Since we didn’t have the typical friendship of hanging out, going shopping, etc.; she was my confidant – always a call, text, note away.   I will always be grateful for her wisdom, her understanding and being there when I truly needed her.  I hope one day she reads this, and knows she will forever hold a special place in my heart.

Adult friendships are hard, especially friendships with other women.  I won’t stop trying to bond with others.  I know my worth.  So with a little more heartbreak, I keep moving forward.

Learning not to obsesses about why someone has suddenly stopped talking to me, no longer wants to be my friend.  Learning I can’t live my life based on what other people say, do, nor how they react.

Learning to accept that I may never find the real reason.  I have learned the hard way, that not everyone is meant to be in our lives forever.

Learning to let go of everything I didn’t do right,  the negative things people have said, the gossip people spread, the lies others believe.

So with this year ending, learning how to forgive many for choosing to communicate with silence, and moving onto other people who want to be in my life …  with grace in my step, hope in my heart ….

“Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind? Should old acquaintance be forgot, and auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne, we’ll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne. And surely you’ll buy your pint cup and surely I’ll buy mine! And we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet, for auld lang syne…”

Good bye 2015!

 


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